Volleyball 2004 - Commentary

Discussions about writing, peer reviews, word games, and writing contests (re: "volleyball") for amateurs.

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laurie
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Post by laurie »

Ghost and Cho: :worship: :worship: :clap: :clap:
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." -- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

"So where the hell is he?" -- Laurie
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Post by wolfspirit »

Brad_H wrote:I've got you outnumbered 26 to 3, Mistress, so you can KMLWHA :P

p.s. Polite company precludes me from defining that acronym :wink:
I'll define it:

Kiss My Little White Hairy A**


:P

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Post by Darb »

Cho: A wonderful opening salvo.

Your character reads a bit like a biker-chick version of "The Juggernaut" of X-Men comics fame. :clap: :lol: :clap:
Wham! An orderly flew fifteen feet down the hall. His teeth flew twenty feet.
Love the continuity reference to the demise of the hardy boys too. :worship:

Magic: It's actually 'lilly white', rather than 'little white'. :P
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Post by Ghost »

Fantastic - Cho, great tie-ins :clap: :clap: :clap:

Sinistra, "the stabber" … doggerel spewing debutante … prison pasta thick on her breath … Me and Fentonito …

Current: Cho Chiyo +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Biker Chicks in Prison), Entertaining +1 (…fubared my ninos …), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker + 0 (no rules broken), Bonus (na) +0 TOTAL: 4

Current Volleyball 2004 Overall Standing:
Brad_H P: 26 O: 25 E: 26 C: 24 RB: -2 Bonus: 1 TOTAL: 100
felonius P: 25 O: 25 E: 24 C: 23 RB: -0 Bonus: 1 TOTAL: 98
Aunflin P: 17 O: 10 E: 16 C: 17 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 59
Ghost P: 13 O: 13 E: 13 C: 13 RB: -0 Bonus: 4 TOTAL: 56
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
laurie P: 3 O: 3 E: 3 C: 3 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 12
Cho Chiyo P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 1 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 4
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used: (88 so far)
Action: Action, X-Men
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV), Childish Immature Symbols
Children: Children, Fairy Tale, Little Johnny Joke,
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage, A Cop Story, The Mafia, The Twilight Zone
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery), Good Omens, Tom Sawyer
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT), Biker Chicks in Prison
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern, Contemporary
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult, Coming of Age, Crime Fiction, Real Life
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King, Sci-Fi Horror, Slasher Movie
Mystery: Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy, Double - Acrostic Poem, Japanese Tanka Verse, Diamante Poem, Skaldic Poem, Dime-Store Doggerel
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Out-of-body Experience (quasi ghost story)
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio (Existentialist Parody), Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography, Experimental Story Structure, Story within a Story within…, Diary, Political Debate, Alliteration Ailment, Interior Monologue, Psychiatric Session, Military Epigram, Mad-Lib, Allegory a la Mode, Religious Text, Inaugural Address

:smash:

/From a bilingual person it reads great, but me thought Carlotta should have said hijo de p*ta and espousa = esposa :mrgreen:
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
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Post by ChoChiyo »

I had the p-word to begin with, but....then I reconsidered. My espanol is rusty, rusty. Heh heh.

(And I didn't have my trusty English/Spanish dictionary.) :oops:
I am a poor, wayfaring stranger
Wandering through this world of woe
But there's no sickness, no fear or danger
In that bright land
To which I go
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laurie
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Post by laurie »

Brad_H wrote: Magic: It's actually 'lilly white', rather than 'little white'. :P
Brad: It's actually 'lily white' rather than 'lilly white'. -- The Spelling Mistress :smash: :mrgreen:
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." -- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

"So where the hell is he?" -- Laurie
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Post by felonius »

Fresh blood! All right! Good stuff, Cho. :thumb:

I'm not going to be around much during the week for the next while, I'm afraid - new term just started and things are quite busy for me right now as well...

I'll try to put the odd post up on weekends if I'm around.

Have fun, everybody. :)
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Post by Ghost »

Here is an online English/Spanish dictionary I use from time to time. It is not the best – but the price is right.

http://www.freedict.com/onldict/spa.html

You wont find pendejo (various translations, but I like d*ckhead best), nerdito (spenglish for nerdy or my little nerd), gringa (white woman) or p*ta (b*tch). :twisted:


[SIDE NOTE: Does anyone know how to change a http://link into a words and save the link?] :?
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
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Post by Darb »

GHOST: Yes - Kilty answered most of this stuff for me last night.

To insert a link, with a text label as the placeholder:

Code: Select all

[url=http://www.ibdof.com/IBDOF-book-detailedview.php?book_id=14697]Ghost's of Vesuvius[/url]
Resolves as: Ghost's of Vesuvius <-- this is a clickable link :)

To copy the text address of the linkage, single-right-click on the link, then then select 'properties', and then copy the url ... or, if you're a moderator, just click on 'edit' for the post housing the link you desire, and copy the source link directly from the source post.

:thumb:
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Post by ChoChiyo »

The Volleyball game reminds me of the Sanctuary books, a collection of short stories by Lynn Abbey, Raymond Feist, George Offut, and others. Each of them made up a character, and I think they collaborated on the world (Theives' World ). Then they all wrote stories. They were allowed to use each other's characters, but they had to remain true to the character--and they couldn't kill anyone else's character. Otherwise, anything went.

There were some pretty good stories in those collections.

It's a thought for another game--what do you think?
I am a poor, wayfaring stranger
Wandering through this world of woe
But there's no sickness, no fear or danger
In that bright land
To which I go
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Post by Darb »

Ok, ok, I finally posted. :lol:

Let's see what people do with THAT. :P
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Post by Darb »

Ok, I tweaked it a bit - I squeezed in the WOTD, and re-worked several paragraphs. It reads smoother now. :)

I also stuffed in my usual bevy of hidden references and bits of trivia. For instance (one of several): General Toho - Toho is the name of the japanese corporation that owns the movie & memorabilia rights to ... well, feel free to google it. :lol:
Last edited by Darb on Thu Sep 02, 2004 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Ghost »

That was great Brad, :thumb: :clap: :thumb: :clap:

5-ton rice truck – mere 6 inches high … nasty spill – off the Empire state building … sunk below her waistline … wildest carnal dreams …

Current: Brad_H +1 (obvious), Originality +1 ((SciFi - 'Monster Week'), Entertaining +1 (… Miss Mallardine Aflac …), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker + 0 (no rules broken), Bonus +1 (WOTD) TOTAL: 5

Current Volleyball 2004 Overall Standing:
Brad_H P: 27 O: 26 E: 27 C: 25 RB: -2 Bonus: 2 TOTAL: 105
felonius P: 25 O: 25 E: 24 C: 23 RB: -0 Bonus: 1 TOTAL: 98
Aunflin P: 17 O: 10 E: 16 C: 17 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 59
Ghost P: 13 O: 13 E: 13 C: 13 RB: -0 Bonus: 4 TOTAL: 56
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
laurie P: 3 O: 3 E: 3 C: 3 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 12
Cho Chiyo P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 1 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 4
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used: (89so far)
Action: Action, X-Men
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV), Childish Immature Symbols
Children: Children, Fairy Tale, Little Johnny Joke,
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage, A Cop Story, The Mafia, The Twilight Zone
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery), Good Omens, Tom Sawyer
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT), Biker Chicks in Prison, Monster Week
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern, Contemporary
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult, Coming of Age, Crime Fiction, Real Life
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King, Sci-Fi Horror, Slasher Movie
Mystery: Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy, Double - Acrostic Poem, Japanese Tanka Verse, Diamante Poem, Skaldic Poem, Dime-Store Doggerel
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Out-of-body Experience (quasi ghost story)
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue, Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio (Existentialist Parody), Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography, Experimental Story Structure, Story within a Story within…, Diary, Political Debate, Alliteration Ailment, Interior Monologue, Psychiatric Session, Military Epigram, Mad-Lib, Allegory a la Mode, Religious Text, Inaugural Address

:smash:

/someone needs to score my Nursery Rhyme :mrgreen:
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
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Post by Darb »

Ok, I hot-linked my reference to F.M. Felonius to the earlier post that this was an indirect segue from :lol:

Felon's gonna KILL me :smash:
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Post by Darb »

CHO: Hey, "Deus ex Machina" is a great genre title ... especially since both Gods (Deus) and Sentient Supercomputers (latin pun on Ex Machina) have appeared in the overall storyline thus far :lol:
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Post by laurie »

Wasn't Felon a SPERM in the earlier post? :?

Seems to have grown up rather quickly.......... :shock:


Loved the King Kong part, Brad :thumb:
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." -- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

"So where the hell is he?" -- Laurie
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Post by Darb »

No - "Field Marshal Felonius" was the person who landed (i.e., ejaculated) the spermatazoan legions into the duck vulva (which, in turn, was the scene of the anthropomorphized epigrammatic battlefield I wrote about in the post in question). You're confusing the epigrammatic and quasi-realistic aspects of the post :lol:
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Post by laurie »

Oh.........

Have you started using Spell-Check? All those big words, and not one mistake. :?
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." -- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

"So where the hell is he?" -- Laurie
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Post by Darb »

Did I mention that Kong's faithful worshippers are no longer primitive natives ? They've already launched numerous dot-com startup companies ...

Image

:lol:
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Post by Darb »

Did I mention that Miss Mallardine Aflac is a divorcee ?

She was previously married to Mr. Ben Afleck. :slap: :lol:
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Post by Darb »

CHO: :clap: :worship: :clap: :worship: :clap: :worship:

p.s. Small typo - it's Mt. Fuji ... no 'g'.

p.p.s. For the benefit of onlookers, the Shizuoka prefecture is actually within sight of Mt. Fuji, so the geography in these last 2 posts is actually correct.

Image

Also, Onigoroshi (brewed in Shizuoka) is my favorite sake IRL, and its name loosely translates as "demonslayer" ... which is a serendipitous tip of the hat to kahrey's references to 'darb' (brad backwards) being a demon in her posts. :lol:
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Post by Ghost »

Excellent Cho, :clap: :clap: :worship:

you nimrod … Like in corpse-on-a-slab dead … I am a Virtue … squeaky pulleys … like beads at the Mardis Gras

Current: Cho Chiyo +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Deus ex Machina), Entertaining +1 (…Mother's Rootbeer Flavored Rum …), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker + 0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 (n/a) TOTAL: 4

Current Volleyball 2004 Overall Standing:
Brad_H P: 27 O: 26 E: 27 C: 25 RB: -2 Bonus: 2 TOTAL: 105
felonius P: 25 O: 25 E: 24 C: 23 RB: 0 Bonus: 1 TOTAL: 98
Aunflin P: 17 O: 10 E: 16 C: 17 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 59
Ghost P: 13 O: 13 E: 13 C: 13 RB: 0 Bonus: 4 TOTAL: 56
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: 0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
laurie P: 3 O: 3 E: 3 C: 3 RB:0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 12
Cho Chiyo P: 2 O: 2 E: 2 C: 2 RB:0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 8
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used: (90 so far)
Action: Action, X-Men
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV), Childish Immature Symbols
Children: Children, Fairy Tale, Little Johnny Joke,
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage, A Cop Story, The Mafia, The Twilight Zone
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery), Good Omens, Tom Sawyer
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT), Biker Chicks in Prison, Monster Week
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern, Contemporary
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult, Coming of Age, Crime Fiction, Real Life
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King, Sci-Fi Horror, Slasher Movie
Mystery: Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy, Double - Acrostic Poem, Japanese Tanka Verse, Diamante Poem, Skaldic Poem, Dime-Store Doggerel
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Out-of-body Experience (quasi ghost story)
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue, Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio (Existentialist Parody), Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography, Experimental Story Structure, Story within a Story within…, Diary, Political Debate, Alliteration Ailment, Interior Monologue, Psychiatric Session, Military Epigram, Mad-Lib, Allegory a la Mode, Religious Text, Inaugural Address, Deus ex Machina

A couple of more typos:
ungent = unguent
interferring = interfering
innumberable = innumerable
increduously = incredulously
benificently = beneficently

Didn’t effect the scoring though. :mrgreen:

:smokin:

[EDIT by Brad: minor re-formatting] :)
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
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Post by ChoChiyo »

Ack.

I wrote this at work (after my day was done); I had to be at an appointment 45 minutes away from the building at 5:00, and one of the nimrod kids I work with locked his keys in his car and kept pestering me. ("Do you have a jimmie?") Oh, yeah. Like, right here in my purse, Goofus.

Heh heh.

So, I didn't get a chance to proofread before I had to go. Ack, ack, ack. :oops:

I think I fixed everything now--including cleaning up a little awkward and repetitive language.

Loved the Godzilla and King Kong section! :clap: :clap: :beer: :clap: :clap:

I had just been talking about "The God of the Machine" with a co-worker earlier this week, and thought....why not? And I had to bring Frank and Joe back to life. They're just kids, after all.
I am a poor, wayfaring stranger
Wandering through this world of woe
But there's no sickness, no fear or danger
In that bright land
To which I go
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Post by Darb »

I realize, belatedly, that I should have squeezed in a reference to Faye Wray's passing last month ... and that the Jessica Lange thingee coulda been spun as a rebound-crush, and that Kong's heart had been broken not once, not twice, but THREE times (the 3rd being Faye's death) :slap: :lol:

Too late now :P

I think post a ways back about Rod Serling's attempted suicide was just a warmup for this one :lol:

Anyway, it wrote itself pretty fast and easy ...
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Post by ChoChiyo »

I love it when the thing seems to write itself. Sometimes I just watch the words appear on the screen and think, Hmmm. Where did that come from? Some web-encrusted cavern of the subconscious mind, no doubt.

:butter:
I am a poor, wayfaring stranger
Wandering through this world of woe
But there's no sickness, no fear or danger
In that bright land
To which I go
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