Volleyball 2004 - Commentary

Discussions about writing, peer reviews, word games, and writing contests (re: "volleyball") for amateurs.

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Aunflin
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Post by Aunflin »

lol Kahrey. That was pretty good--and really cheesy :thumb:
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
Aunflin
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Post by Aunflin »

All right, there's my post. I'm sure glad we added on that extra hour... :wink:
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
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Post by Darb »

:clap: :clap: Great stuff, Aunf & Kahrey.

The only part that was a little unpolished was the bit about "crushing her teeth" in K's post. Other than that, everything's great. :thumb:

I'd post, but I'm leaving for the weekend, and won't return until Monday.
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Post by Aunflin »

Have a great weekend! :)
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
felonius
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Post by felonius »

Good work, guys. :thumb:

I'll try and post tomorrow or Sunday, if time permits.
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Ghost
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Post by Ghost »

Aunflin, :clap: :clap:

Very well written, it was great. :clap:

Current: Aunflin – Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Sonnet), Entertaining +1 (excellent), Continuity +1 (very smooth) Rule Breaker –0 (no rule breaking) TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
felonius P: 10 O: 10 E: 9 C: 8 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 37
Brad_H P: 9 O: 9 E: 9 C: 8 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 33
Aunflin P: 8 O: 5 E: 8 C: 8 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 29
Kahrey P: 7 O: 4 E: 7 C: 6 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 24
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genre used so far:
Urban contemporary, sci-fi (sort of), Hardy Boys Mystery, stream-of-consciousness, Vomit-Inducing Romance, Fantasy, Twin Peaks, Horror, comedy, modern fantasy, Japanese Anime, Yugi-Oh!, Magic the Gathering, Young adult, Screen Play Script, Epistolary, Soap Opera (“As the IBDoF Turnsâ€
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
Aunflin
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Post by Aunflin »

Bravo! Felonius :clap: Very good! :thumb:
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
Kahrey
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Post by Kahrey »

that was great!! loved it! :thumb:

and i must apologize....all this time ive been spelling it "felonious" rather than the correct "felonius." i shall remember that from now on....
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Post by Ghost »

felonius, very good. :clap: :clap:

Current: felonius – Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (spy), Entertaining +1 (excellent), Continuity +1 (very smooth) Rule Breaker –0 (no rule breaking) TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
felonius P: 11 O: 11 E: 10 C: 9 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Brad_H P: 9 O: 9 E: 9 C: 8 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 33
Aunflin P: 8 O: 5 E: 8 C: 8 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 29
Kahrey P: 7 O: 4 E: 7 C: 6 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 24
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genre used so far:
Urban contemporary, sci-fi (sort of), Hardy Boys Mystery, stream-of-consciousness, Vomit-Inducing Romance, Fantasy, Twin Peaks, Horror, comedy, modern fantasy, Japanese Anime, Yugi-Oh!, Magic the Gathering, Young adult, Screen Play Script, Epistolary, Soap Opera (“As the IBDoF Turnsâ€
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
Aunflin
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Post by Aunflin »

Since I'm the Moderator, I guess I'll judge this one:

/me puts on my robes and grabs the gavel...

Ghost, not too bad. :clap: :clap:

Current: Ghost – Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (sci-fi*), Entertaining +1 (not too bad), Continuity +1 (pretty smooth) Rule Breaker –0 (no rule breaking) TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
felonius P: 11 O: 11 E: 10 C: 9 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Brad_H P: 9 O: 9 E: 9 C: 8 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 33
Aunflin P: 8 O: 5 E: 8 C: 8 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 29
Kahrey P: 7 O: 4 E: 7 C: 6 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 24
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3
Ghost P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 1 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL :4

Genre used so far:
Urban contemporary, sci-fi (sort of), Hardy Boys Mystery, stream-of-consciousness, Vomit-Inducing Romance, Fantasy, Twin Peaks, Horror, comedy, modern fantasy, Japanese Anime, Yugi-Oh!, Magic the Gathering, Young adult, Screen Play Script, Epistolary, Soap Opera (“As the IBDoF Turnsâ€
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
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Ghost
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Post by Ghost »

Sherlock Winner for Week 3

felonius 16 :clap:
Brad_H 13
Aunflin 7
Kahrey 7
Ghost 4

I feel much more comfortable with this gavel in my hand than that quill. I don’t think I pick that up again for some time. I hope I didn’t screw up the story too much with my amateur attempt, the scene looked so much better in my head. :slap:
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
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Post by Darb »

Aww rats - I leave on a 3 day weekend, and felonius laps me while I'm gone :P
felonius
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Post by felonius »

Ghost - don't sell yourself short, dude. I personally love my nouns high and firm. :shock:

Brad - want some nitrous? :)
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Post by Darb »

Ok, ok, let's not go too crazy with the boobs ... we don't want to scare off the ladies who might wish to participate :P

Sammy + Grilka: I hope you'll consider participating. We'd love to have ya join in.

Felonius: Sure, I'll take a hit.

/me accepts a balloon full, inhales it deeply, and smiles :thumb:
felonius
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Post by felonius »

Demographic! Right, right! Apologies for mild sexism. My genuine self bows low before the awesome capacity for multi-tasking present in the female... :thumb:

I too hope Grilka chooses to participate - I really enjoyed reading her posts in the last volleyball thread. :)
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Post by Ghost »

I edited out the gratuitous comments, I hope no one was offended.

I wish someone would pick up a quill and get the story rolling again.
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
Darb
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Post by Darb »

I was just suggesting we show a little restraint on a forward basis, in order not to scare off the ladies I invited. I wasnt suggesting we go back and re-edit what we've already done.

Felonius - excellent, but a tad short. :thumb:
felonius
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Post by felonius »

It would have been longer if I didn't have work to do...
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Darb
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Post by Darb »

I have a neat idea for a "biotech thriller" post. Don't wait for me though ... not sure when I'll get to it.

However, I'm hoping to tie up a couple of loose ends in the plot, as well as explain a few things :thumb:
Last edited by Darb on Tue May 18, 2004 12:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Ghost »

Very good, felonius :clap: :clap:

A new fashion beach party :banana: , I thought I saw Frankie Avalon in the crowd :slap: .

Current: felonius – Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Beach Party), Entertaining +1 (psychedelic), Continuity +1 (smooth) Rule Breaker –0 (no rule breaking) TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
felonius P: 12 O: 12 E: 11 C: 10 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 45
Brad_H P: 9 O: 9 E: 9 C: 8 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 33
Aunflin P: 8 O: 5 E: 8 C: 8 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 29
Kahrey P: 7 O: 4 E: 7 C: 6 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 24
Ghost P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 1 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL :4
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genre used so far:
Urban contemporary, sci-fi (sort of), Hardy Boys Mystery, stream-of-consciousness, Vomit-Inducing Romance, Fantasy, Twin Peaks, Horror, comedy, modern fantasy, Japanese Anime, Yugi-Oh!, Magic the Gathering, Young adult, Screen Play Script, Epistolary, Soap Opera (“As the IBDoF Turnsâ€
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
Darb
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Post by Darb »

Beach blanket bingo for Gen-Y :deviate: :lol:
Aunflin
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Post by Aunflin »

Good one, Felonius :thumb:
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
felonius
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Post by felonius »

Brad_H wrote:Beach blanket bingo for Gen-Y :deviate: :lol:
Are we still puttting letter tags after 'generation'? Ve must classify all ze demographics, ja? I thought that ended with Douglas Coupland. And I don't think Frankie Avalon would have lasted an hour in Thailand.

There was a great book published in Britain around '97 called 'Disco Biscuits - Tales of the Chemical Generation' that all current and former ravers should read - this was slightly after what I consider the glorious heydey of late '89-'95 and really did a wonderful job capturing the collective global experience. What I wouldn't give to be back in those old dripping warehouses and farmer's fields sometimes...
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Aunflin
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Post by Aunflin »

Felonius: Just travel back there in your imagination and write us a novel about it. I'm sure it would be a fascinating read :) :thumb:
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
felonius
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Post by felonius »

Aunflin - it's already been done - alternatively well and poorly - by people like Douglas Rushkoff, Irvine Welsh, Steve Aylett, Sarah Champion, and Iain Banks.

The problem with being an avid reader and an aspiring writer is that you are constantly in fear of your own work being painfully derivative.

Thanks for the kind word, though. I've been working on the sucker for close to a year but there aren't enough *#$%^*& hours in the day... :evil:
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