HUMOR: BKM's bad hume-hair day (e-humor, puns & 1-liners)

Post by **Kvetch** » Sun Mar 27, 2005 7:13 am

quite amusing!

tollbaby · Post by **tollbaby** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 2:35 pm

magicfan241 wrote:
tollbaby wrote:yeah, that last stat's always frightened me... not only can most Canadian kids leaving grade 6 identify their own country on a globe, we can generally identify (without markings) all the provinces, name their capitals, and some of us smarter kids could name all the States and *their* capitals, AND identify every country in Europe (bit more difficult now, you keep changing them round).

silly yanks (what's that Steven? Stupid Frenchies? Bite me.)
Yes Stupid Frenchies.

We had to memorize every country in Europe and their capitals in our Western Civ class last year. Made me decide to never go to Europe.

Steven
magicfan241

PS: There is TWO Steven's now! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

I may take that from *our* Steven, but I'm not gonna take it from you, kid, so watch it. Steven (DeathByAnts) has met me in person, and is entitled to mock. Oh, and that would be there ARE two Stevens now...

Post by **Darb** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 3:10 pm

what's the capital of Ethiopia?

The letter "E"

Whadda I win ?

Post by **Kvetch** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 3:57 pm

a punch in the face for reducing yourself to scoolyard jokes. (my favourite is bobbobbo. How do you spell it?)

Aunflin · Post by **Aunflin** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 4:27 pm

Brad wrote:
what's the capital of Ethiopia?
The letter "E"

Whadda I win ?

/Aunflin walks away shaking his head.

Post by **Darb** » Mon Mar 28, 2005 4:33 pm

Kvetch wrote:a punch in the face for reducing yourself to scoolyard jokes. (my favourite is bobbobbo. How do you spell it?)

You'd be truly scandalized at how well such outta-left-field tactics will help you on things like standardized IQ tests. Truly shocking ... and not an ounce of real intelligence required. Well, ok ... maybe a little.

Post by **Darb** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 1:10 pm

David Letterman's Top 10 Drawbacks to Working in a Cubicle:

10. Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day long.

9. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without turning around to see who's behind you.

8. Cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gun fire.

7. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you'll get a piece of cheese.

6. Lack of roof rafters for the noose.

5. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right.

4. 23 power cords - 1 outlet.

3. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds.

2. The carpet has been there since 1976 and shows more signs of life than some of your co-workers.

1. You can't walk out and slam the door when you quit.

Everything except #4 (4 outlets) and #2 (2003) are true, in my case.

Greabo Girl · Post by **Greabo Girl** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 5:47 pm

When police raided Michael Jackson's house, they found class C drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his livngs room, Class A dugs in his bathroom and Class 5B in his bedroom.

Post by **Kvetch** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 5:33 am

*groans*

tollbaby · Post by **tollbaby** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 8:01 am

okay... maybe there's a language barrier (or maybe I'm just an idiot) but I just don't get that.

Post by **Ghost** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 8:20 am

It's not a language barrier, I think it is a cultural or country barrier - it is a British joke - I don't get it either.

Greabo Girl · Post by **Greabo Girl** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 8:33 am

Children's classes are read with the year group then the initial of the class name.

EG, if there were a group of year threes, and they were in Mrs Wilson's class, it would be Class 3W. So 5B is the name of a class of school kids.

Post by **KiltanneN** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 8:35 am

Ghost wrote:- it is a British joke -

Class 5B in a british/ Kiwi school system would by context automatically be grade school or middle school [at the oldest] children. About 20 of them...

Post by **Kvetch** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 8:41 am

I assume that it is not MJ that is presenting the problem. so:
In the UK Drugs are classified Class C (nothing very famous - mainly steroids &c. - possession is not an arrestable offense), B (Canabis, etc. - criminal but not a dangerous to have as class A) and A (Ecstacy, Heroin, etc.).
As to the punchline, the traditional class numbering scheme for infant and junior schools [equivalent to ages 5-13] is [year number][arbitary gruop identification letter], so different grops could be named 6E or 4F or 5B or whatever.

[EDIT: notices that two people have replied during the time I spent making coffee. *sigh*]

Greabo Girl · Post by **Greabo Girl** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:12 am

Meh. Good explanation about the drug classes though. My friend sent this jok to me in an email about a year ago.

>> Eating healthy
>>
>>
>>
>> Can't eat Beef, Mad cow....
>>
>>
>>
>> Can't eat chicken . bird flu
>>
>> Can't eat eggs ... Salmonella
>>
>> Can't eat pork ... fears that bird flu will infect

piggies
>>
>> Can't eat fish ... heavy metals in the
>> waters has poisoned their meat
>>
>> Can't eat fruits and veggies ... insecticides and
herbicides
>>
>> Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
>> M
>>
>> M
>>
>> M
>>
>> M
>>
>> M
>>
>> M
>> M
>> M
>> M
>> M
>> M
>>
>> I believe that leaves Chocolate!!!!!!!!
>>
>>
>> Chocolate is a Vegetable
>>
>> **
>> Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
>>
>>
>>
>> Bean = vegetable.
>>
>> **Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar

BEETS.
>>
>>
>>
>> **Both of them are plants, in the vegetable
category.
Thus,
>> chocolate is a vegetable.
>>
>> **
>>
>>
>> **To go one step further, chocolate candy bars
also
contain milk,
>> which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
>>
>>
>>
>> **Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange
slices
and
>> strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as
you want.
**Remember - - - "STRESSED" spelled backward is "DESSERTS"

tollbaby · Post by **tollbaby** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:43 am

Greabo Girl wrote:Children's classes are read with the year group then the initial of the class name.

EG, if there were a group of year threes, and they were in Mrs Wilson's class, it would be Class 3W. So 5B is the name of a class of school kids.

*confused* no wonder the joke made absolutely no sense to me.... what happens if you have more than one teacher whose last name starts with W teaching the same year? silly system, if you ask me.

Greabo Girl · Post by **Greabo Girl** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 10:58 am

There are usually only one or two teachers per year group, per school. And if there are more then one teacher who teach the same year group with the same initials in their last names, then one of them will pick a different letter.

Post by **Kvetch** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 12:16 pm

My (secondary) school uses the same sustem, but rather than using teacher's initials, they use S,L,V,E,R and D (from the name of the school: Silverdale), which avoids the problem. But as GG says, most primary schools are mucg smaller

Post by **laurie** » Thu Apr 14, 2005 7:29 pm

Am I the only North American who *got* the joke the first time?

/me wonders if me was born on wrong side of pond ...

/me thinks about it ...

/me KNOWS me was born on wrong side of pond !

Post by **Kvetch** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 1:57 am

ARRR!

We'll make you an honorary brit is you like (although WHY you'd want thar...)

tollbaby · Post by **tollbaby** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 7:26 am

and now Kvetch understands the wisdom of waiting until *after* 9am (and at least one coffee) before posting

Post by **Kvetch** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:47 am

Kvetch agrees with that, but he has to check the board twice a day to keep up, so he accepts that for one of those times he will be asleep.

Greabo Girl · Post by **Greabo Girl** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 12:59 pm

Kvetch wrote:Kvetch agrees with that, but he has to check the board twice a day to keep up, so he accepts that for one of those times he will be asleep.

Only twice a day?

Post by **Kvetch** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 1:24 pm

for at least 1/2 an hour a shot.
And that is the time I spend catching up, not actually posting.

Post by **laurie** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 1:14 am

KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat.

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything.

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet.

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids And Our Voting Skills.

Georgia: We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes...Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce The "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt!

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, And Honest Elections!

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Hookers And Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: Ya Wanna ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...And No Right To Self Defense!

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: Home Of The Al Gore Invention Museum.

Texas: Se Hablo InglÃ©s

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Ay, Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Our Governor Can Out-Fraud Your Governor!

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut Cheese!

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared

The District of Columbia: The Work-Free Drug Place!