40,000 books ! {plus SciFi vs Romance DE duel}

Post by **Darb** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:27 pm

I'd hop up onto the ol changing table ... but it looks a little flimsy.

Post by **laurie** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:35 pm

Hmmm......where did that "haven't puked good beer since college" post disappear to, Brad?

Post by **Darb** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:48 pm

I phasered it into oblivion ... it occured to me (shortly after posting it) that none of the beer I drank back in college was particularly good.

[Genre: Mirror Mirror Star Trek TNG]

Picard: Mr. Crusher, in my ready room. {disappears into ready room}
Wesley: Yessir. {follows}

Sounds of a struggle ensue, followed by the angry whine of an agonizer, followed by teenage screaming. The screaming continues for almost 30 minutes, much to the delight of the bridge crew, before finally trailing off. The captain re-emerges several minutes later, absently sticks a bloodstained duranium poinard point-first into the nearest console, and sits down ... to the applause of the bridge crew.

Riker: Nicely done, Captain.
Picard: Yes, the boy was rather annoying. I mentioned back in season 1 that i disliked children, and that they didn't belong on military ships.
Data: How do you intend to deal with Dr. Crusher ?
Picard: I offered her command of a medical ship ... the price was allowing me to kill that wretched son of hers. She accepted. I like that in a woman - a complete lack of scruples.
Warg: {sullen}
Riker: Why so glum, Warg ?
Warg: I wanted to be the one to execute the brat ... the honor should have been mine !
Riker: Ah yes, Wesley's little prank with the replicator last week ... he reprogrammed your prune juice "warrior's drink" to include ex-lax, right ?
Warg: {snarls}
Laforge: {laughs}

Romance: 5165
SciFi: 4877 {-2}

Data: {scanning} Captain, the Romancian vessel has stopped in space. I've halted our forward momentum as well, in order to maintain distance.

Kilgore Trout · Post by **Kilgore Trout** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:57 pm

OK, if I say I think the guy in the video is Brad, will I get a response?

Kilgore Trout wrote:Brad, somehow your last post made me think of a video clip called How Men Screw Up Romance. How appropriate for this thread! I found a copy online:
How Men Screw Up Romance

Attention whoring can be so lonely...

Post by **Darb** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 7:59 pm

Unfortunately, my firewall blocks that link ... otherwise I'd have commented earlier. I can't see it.

Kilgore Trout · Post by **Kilgore Trout** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 8:02 pm

I think there's a copy on my wife's hard drive. PM me an addy and it's yours.

Post by **Darb** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 12:25 pm

Might not be good - pc at parent's estate is down, I have no pc at home, and get large mpegs with offcolor/racy content are generally frowned upon by most businesses IT depts.

Thanks though.

Post by **Darb** » Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:36 pm

Romance: 5165
SciFi: 4907 {+30}

[Mirror Mirror ST:TNG, cont'd]

Data: Captain, the Romancians are remaining motionless.
Riker: It's a trap.
Picard: Of course. You know what to do, Number One.
Riker: Warg, arm the photon torpedoes !
Warg: FINALLY !! {pumps fist}
Picard: No no no no, not that. Get down to sick bay Wil, don the pajamas, and the Romancian pheremone spray, and beam over to their ship.
Riker: {horrified}
Warg: Captain, please, I beg you ... let me blow the p'tagh outta them !
Picard: {to Warg} No. Where's the fun in blowing them up ? I'm rather enjoying drawing this out.
Picard: {to Riker} Sickbay. Make it so.
Riker: And if I refuse ?
Picard: {fingers agonizer} Make my day.
Laforge: Ooooh, can I have your cabin after you're dead, Wil ?
Riker: {grumbles}

Post by **Darb** » Mon May 01, 2006 5:46 pm

Regarding the Star Trek Genre: I've almost run out of incomplete books that needed completing ... once I'm done with those, I'll resume adding new ST books from scratch.

There are scads of them still out there.

Kilgore Trout · Post by **Kilgore Trout** » Sat May 06, 2006 3:26 pm

Romance: 5231 {+66}
SciFi: 4981 {+74}

Trout: Captain, the Romancians appear to be drifting. Fortunately, we are drifting a bit faster than they are.

Kilgore Trout · Post by **Kilgore Trout** » Tue May 09, 2006 3:11 pm

Romance: 5231 {+0}
SciFi: 4991 {+10}

Trout to Computer: Computer, email to Captain Jerk, for delivery when the Romulan ale wears off -- Captain, the Romancians appear dead in space. We have shut off thrusters and are drifting their way silently. We have encrypted this message so as not to reveal our strategy.

Trout aside to Uhura: Uhura? We are encrypting, aren't we? Uhura?

Chekov: You know she takes late lunch, you idiot!

(Trout, to self, under his breath: Dang, they'll hang me for sure.)

Trout: Ummm... so Captain, all is well. If you need me, I'll be taking a short leave on Planet (covers mouth) dmmmbryfrggnnhh. Computer -- delay delivery at least 24 hours. Captain Jerk is unlikely to wear off all that ale that soon anyway.

Sulu: You've done it this time, Round Eyes!

Trout: Transporter room -- prepare to beam one, ASAP!

Post by **laurie** » Tue May 09, 2006 8:10 pm

Romance: 5250 {+19}
That Other Genre: 4991 {+0}

Cripes, I take a few days off (after an average of about 200 per week in the past 2 months) and you guys call me "dead in space."

"Thou currish hasty-witted pigeon-egg[s]!" --- Shakespeare

Post by **Darb** » Tue May 09, 2006 8:29 pm

My available freetime for data entry is going to be rather limited for the next 2 weeks, but after that I'm hoping to return to my usually fecund output.

Kilgore Trout · Post by **Kilgore Trout** » Tue May 09, 2006 8:45 pm

Mine's down too and what little I know of your weekend sounds like mine. Today I was telling someone that I had seen a certain person come into the office at midnight on Sunday... or was it Saturday? I couldn't remember since I'd been there at midnight two nights in a row. Actually three nights out of four.

Sean Whitton · Post by **Sean Whitton** » Wed May 10, 2006 9:01 am

For those without the brain power of Brad:

Definitions of fecund on the Web:

* (fek' nd) Species that have a high reproductive output based on when and how often they reproduce.
http://www.fort.usgs.gov/resources/educ ... ossary.asp

* capable of producing offspring or vegetation
* intellectually productive; "a prolific writer"; "a fecund imagination"
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

tollbaby · Post by **tollbaby** » Wed May 10, 2006 1:29 pm

odd definition, but okay...

harryhermionerw · Post by **harryhermionerw** » Wed May 10, 2006 5:37 pm

* capable of producing offspring or vegetation

Vegetation? Well, if you took it full circle, paper is made of wood, which is vegatation... but that's like, out there :-p
Anywho, wrong def, I know

Post by **Darb** » Thu May 11, 2006 10:48 am

Gee, I was half expecting someone to make a snarky remark that deliberately confused 'fecund output' with 'fecal output'.

Kilgore Trout · Post by **Kilgore Trout** » Thu May 11, 2006 10:57 am

Didn't want to steal your thunder Brad. And please, let's not take that thunder metaphor any farther...

Post by **Darb** » Thu May 11, 2006 11:14 am

Well, as something of an allegorical Zeus-like figure, shouldn't "thunder" be one of my equally allegorical motifs/manifestations ?

*pifft*

Ok, that needs work ... definitely not loud enough to qualify.

p.s. If I play my cards right, I might actually be able to get a few scifi entries done today.

Sean Whitton · Post by **Sean Whitton** » Thu May 11, 2006 11:25 am

How about some more TNG scripts?

Post by **Darb** » Thu May 11, 2006 1:38 pm

Romance: 5250 {+0}
SciFi: 4999 {+8}

GENRE: Star Trek TOS

Jerk: {groggy from too much Romulan ale, checks e-mail, then connects to the bridge by view-com} Jerk to bridge ... what's our position ?

Sulu: I dunno about you, but I'm sitting down.

Jerk: Funny guy. How close are we to The Neutral Zone ?

Sulu: About as close as your toupee is to your scalp.

Jerk: Remind me later to demote you, Mister.

Sulu: I'll remind you by e-mail, Sir. BTW, that was a good party last night.

Spock: I've never understood the Human predilection for imbibing unhealthy mind-altering toxins, like alcohol.

Jerk: Funny, I seem to recall you enjoying the effects of mind-altering spores on one occasion, and your popping an impressive green woodie back during the "Amok Time" episode.

Spock: Really Captain, those were involuntary incidents.

Jerk: And what about Zarabeth in "All Our Yesturdays" ? No spores, no drugs, you were as horny as a billygoat, and you almost strangled Bones in a fit a territorial jealous rage, because the 3 of you were all alone forever, and nobody would ever know. If A. C. Crispin's 2-part "Yesturday's Son" saga is to be believed, you even have a son floating around out there, in the past.

Spock: {uncomfortable} Yes, well, as you know, the Atavacron altered my genetic structure to revert me to the time before Surak ...

Jerk: Yadda yadda yadda ... enough technobabble. You know as well as I do that Surak's influence on Vulcan history was philosophical, not genetic. The bottom line is you had a boner a mile long, and you and Zarabeth were going at it like cats in heat on that bearskin rug, and eating meat to boot ... and you liked it ... a lot. ADMIT IT.

Spock: Captain ... our present situation ...

Jerk: CAN WAIT. Once and for all, I want you to admit that being half Human isn't all bad ... that you LIKE sex, that you LIKED eating meat, and that you LIKED mind altering drugs and hormonal imbalances. And don't make me come up there and phaser you to get it ... fans have been waiting for DECADES for this admission.

Spock: *SIGH* Oh, very well ... yes.

JERK: FINALLY !!
SULU: Wow.
CHECKOV: Aye kan't believe eet.
UHURA: Mister Spock, I always knew you had it in you.
SCOTTY: I'll get a bottle of Saurian Brandy ... we'll celebrate.

Spock: No thank you, Mr. Scott. We have more pressing issues ... such as do we or dont we enter The Neutral Zone ? The Romancians have almost certainly set a trap for us.

Jerk: Sulu ... manuvering thrusters forward.

Sulu: Aye Captain.

Jerk: {connects to sickbay} Bones, you owe me $1,000 credits.

McCoy: A thou ... no way ... he finally said it ?

Jerk: Yep.

McCoy: And I missed it ? Why didn't you call me to the bridge ?!!

tollbaby · Post by **tollbaby** » Thu May 11, 2006 2:36 pm

almost makes me wish I was on Laurie's team

Kilgore Trout · Post by **Kilgore Trout** » Thu May 11, 2006 2:38 pm

Brad wrote:Romance: 5250 {+0}
SciFi: 4999 {+8}

Not bad considering SciFi was actually down to 4983 or less at one point since last tally.

Sean Whitton · Post by **Sean Whitton** » Thu May 11, 2006 2:43 pm

I'd much rather have TNG. Humph. (jk)