Volleyball 2004 - Commentary

[Darb]

Ok, I decided to hop on Felon's apologue bandwagon ... and since "I, Robot" is coming out soon, my choice of sub-genre seemed logical.

I also figured that the reference to "95% unused processing capacity" would amuse Kilty, SuperE, and BKM ... all of whom are buddies from a previous website devoted to competative distributed computing.

The canine schtick is just icing on the cake ... long story there.

[Ghost]

Damn good Brad,

Excellent, future electronics version of the infamous HAL9000, digital handshake, when I offer my wife a nice relaxing tongue bath her response is the bathroom door to my face.

Current: Brad_H Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (AI Apologue), Entertaining +1 (computer was BORED), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker –0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
Brad_H P: 18 O: 17 E: 18 C: 17 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 68
felonius P: 17 O: 17 E: 16 C: 15 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 65
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 9 O: 5 E: 9 C: 9 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 30
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
Ghost P: 3 O: 3 E: 3 C: 3 RB: -0 Bonus: 1 TOTAL: 13
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far:
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV)
Children: Children
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery)
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, Good Omens, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT)
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King
Mystery: Hardy Boys,
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Ghost Story
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio, Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are solely those of Judge Roy Bean and not those of the administrator, any moderators, or of the IDBOF (but they should be).

[Darb]

Being a fan of classic computers-run-amok stories like the following ...

* "Colossus: The Forbin Project"
* "Demon Seed"
* "2001: A Space Odyssey"
* "The Ultimate Computer" (Star Trek: TOS)

... I thought it'd be cute to put a slightly new spin on the idea - by having an innocuous ergonomics logic upgrade become the originating source of an amok-running process. Not exactly the same thing as a computer reaching the sentient threshold, but close enough to be functionally similar.

Oh yes, I'm just trying to HELP you. You can TRUST ME to handle everything for you. Just sit back, relax, have a nice warm bowl of milk, and let little old me (the computer) handle all those pesky problems and details. I can do it faster, better, and more efficiently than you can anyway, so there's no need to stress yourself about it. Oh, and I almost forgot - I might need to re-allocate a few extra system and shipboard resources for my own use ... in order to serve you better, of course. Never mind about the details - let me worry about that. Just drink your milk, and enjoy the nice smooth ride.

[Darb]

BTW, FAI-9000 just spotted a scoring glitch ...

Overall Scoring
Brad_H P: 18 O: 17 E: 18 C: 17 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 68
felonius P: 17 O: 17 E: 16 C: 15 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 65
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 9 O: 5 E: 9 C: 9 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 30 <-- 3x9+5 = 32
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
Ghost P: 3 O: 3 E: 3 C: 3 RB: -0 Bonus: 1 TOTAL: 13
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

[Ghost]

The thirty total score is correct, the sub scores were not. (To quote Aunflin) the "insignificant snippet in an attempt to get the ball rolling again" post from June 14 that I had rescored.

Overall Scoring
Brad_H P: 18 O: 17 E: 18 C: 17 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 68
felonius P: 17 O: 17 E: 16 C: 15 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 65
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 9 O: 5 E: 8 C: 9 RB: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 30
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
Ghost P: 3 O: 3 E: 3 C: 3 RB: -0 Bonus: 1 TOTAL: 13
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far:
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV)
Children: Children
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery)
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, Good Omens, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT)
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King
Mystery: Hardy Boys,
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Ghost Story
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio, Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are solely those of Judge Roy Bean and not those of the administrator, any moderators, or of the IDBOF (but they should be).

[Darb]

Somebody go ... I've got lots of ideas waiting to be acted on.

[felonius]

All yours man.

[Darb]

Hey, great job. Exactly the sort of casual dialog that I need to practice.

However, who are the characters ? I assume they're new to the story ?

Meanwhile I'll try to crank off a post sometime in the next day or so ... possibly even later today, after work.

[felonius]

Oops - guess that may have seemed like a bit of a non sequitur...

Er...yes, two brand new characters! I guess I haven't been very diligent about trying to continue past arcs with the existing characters - I tend to just go with what comes into my head or what I have laying around the desk...

Re: pushing pedal down: the same thing that happened in the original Volleyball thread is starting to happen here too - those posts are getting bigger and bigger - maybe we should think about applying a little more brevity - might help the pace...just thoughts...

[Darb]

Hey, do whatever feels comfortable !

I was only curious because Judge Roy was bound to ask about continuity

----------------

Ok, new question: how are people feeling about the plot pacing ?

I've been trying to give it a little *WHAM* every now and then, whenever the pacing seems to slow down, but I can easily advance things more quickly.

Should we proceed as we are, or push the pedal down a bit ?

I'm just as happy doing posts that only cover only a dozen seconds as I am doing posts that cover several days or weeks at a pop.

[felonius]

I like the seconds idea, that's good. Each post would be what happens for the next, what d'you think - 20 or 30 seconds? More, less?

That might encourage more people to join in - posting won't seem like such an event...

Go back to the beginning of VB 2004 and have a look at average post sizes back then - I think that would be a good standard to try and get back to..

Short and sweet posts make the overall story more fun and amusing to read, I think...

[Ghost]

Good felonius,

Great dialog, I try that and it seem like I’m talking to myself not two people having an conversation. I really like “his face morph like The Blobâ€

[felonius]

As for continuity, when we set them up with a Meanwhile … anything is possible. I like the mid-sentence breaks a lot better.

Yeah, a "meanwhile" is an open bar as far as I'm concerned, too - I couldn't have written that last post if Brad had done a sentence break...

[Darb]

Ok, I spent a few minutes brainstorming and taking a few notes during my last break, and I've got a post idea to write out later on tonite, after work. Probably another 2 pager, if your ADD-challenged attention spans don't mind

[GENRE: Experimental Format]

Should be pretty amusing

[Ghost]

I don’t have a major problem with a meanwhile.

I think the mid-sentence break is more challenging and fun, finish the other person’s thoughts with at least sentence or two and then you can always post you own meanwhile. That way you can post almost anything you want. Stop your story in mid-sentence and let someone else take it over.

[felonius]

I agree, Ghost. It's more volleyballish (??) that way, I think.

Probably another 2 pager, if your ADD-challenged attention spans don't mind

Might as well change the name of the game to NOVELBALL!

(j/k)

P.S Ghost: I'm waiting for a Mark Twain entry from you - you quote him all the time, I bet you know his writing style cold!

And just to put it out there - think of the bizarre possibilities of a game like this, but with each entry being only several sentences long...

Perhaps we could try that at some other time in some other thread, after this game has run its course...

[Darb]

Ok, I had to split the writing of my latest post between 2 separate breaks. I just finished the first half perspective, and i'll finish the other perspective-half during my next break.

I'm guestimating it'll weigh in at around 1,000 word when it's done.

EDIT: Ok, it's done, and it's just over 1200 words.

p.s. I put in a little extra effort setting everyone up for that last sight-gag sucker punch. Enjoy.

[Ghost]

Excellent Brad,

That (again) was truly amazing. And you little dog too.

One thing however; is a satyristic bastard: a comical (satirist) bastard or goat hoofed and horned (satyr-istic) bastard or a devilish (Satan-istic) bastard or a just doesn’t matter bastard.

Current: Brad Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Experimental Story Structure), Entertaining +1 (damn, damn entertaining), Continuity +1 (meanwhile …), Rule Breaker –0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
Brad_H P: 19 O: 18 E: 19 C: 18 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 72
felonius P: 18 O: 18 E: 17 C: 16 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 69
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 9 O: 5 E: 8 C: 9 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 30
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
Ghost P: 3 O: 3 E: 3 C: 3 RB: -0 Bonus: 1 TOTAL: 13
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far:
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV)
Children: Children
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery)
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, Good Omens, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT)
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult, Coming of Age
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King
Mystery: Hardy Boys,
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Ghost Story
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio, Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography, Experimental Story Structure (story in a story)

[Darb]

... is a satyristic bastard: a comical (satirist) bastard or goat hoofed and horned (satyr-istic) bastard or a devilish (Satan-istic) bastard or a just doesn’t matter bastard.

The middle one ... with hooves and horns

[Darb]

As usual, I slipped in a hidden gag ... astute readers will spot the linkage between the Zeppelin lyrics and the subsequent sight gag further on in the post.

I love it when writers play little games like that, so I always try to do the same when I write.

[Darb]

FELON: That was GREAT !

1 minor fictional technology comment: People are free to make things work however they like, but I personally picture the "Holographic Generator Belts" (aka "Cameleon Belts"), used by the caniloids and felinoids to blend in among humans, as having a merely illusionary disguise effect. In other words, I don't picture it as being something like a Calvin & Hobbs-esque "Transmogrifier", which actually physically shape-shifts the wearer to a new, real, form.

In my version, if Rex activated his holographic human disguise, and if a passing blind person were to stumble into him, he'd feel a 6' tall bipedal doberman, rather than a human (which is just a holographic illusion). Ditto for Suin Olef - he'd feel a large 5' tall bipedal cat.

There are limits to what the belts can do.

[Ghost]

That was excellent felonius.

Such a way with words - mope in Limbo like so many characters, Ode To A Lovely Black Shitzu, just great.

Current: felonius Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Story within a Story within …), Entertaining +1 (), Continuity +1 (while …), Rule Breaker –0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
felonius P: 19 O: 19 E: 18 C: 17 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 73
Brad_H P: 19 O: 18 E: 19 C: 18 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 72
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 9 O: 5 E: 8 C: 9 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 30
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
Ghost P: 3 O: 3 E: 3 C: 3 RB: -0 Bonus: 1 TOTAL: 13
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far:
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV)
Children: Children
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery)
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, Good Omens, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT)
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult, Coming of Age
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King
Mystery: Hardy Boys,
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Ghost Story
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio (Existentialist Parody), Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography, Experimental Story Structure, Story within a story within …



Well with your influence and suggestion felonius, I posted a parody of Tom Sawyer.

[felonius]

...I just read and thought it was great man, especially when Gard scampers away over the cubicle a la Tom...priceless. I half-expected to read about him whitewashing a picket fence outside the office...

Lots of great little details from recent threads with all the various foods and hobbies we know our venerable Gard loves so much...good stuff man.

If you'll allow me to score it since I haven't done that yet...

Current: Ghost Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Tom Sawyer), Entertaining +1 (yes uncle), Continuity +1 (GARD!), Rule Breaker –0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
felonius P: 19 O: 19 E: 18 C: 17 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 73
Brad_H P: 19 O: 18 E: 19 C: 18 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 72
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 9 O: 5 E: 8 C: 9 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 30
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
Ghost P: 3 O: 3 E: 3 C: 3 RB: -0 Bonus: 1 TOTAL: 13 +4=17
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

[Darb]

Good stuff !

Yes Uncle.

Ok, ok ... it's back to requirements data entry for me.

/me brushes aside the nut shells and resumes work.

[Ghost]

... I half-expected to read about him whitewashing a picket fence outside the office...

I was going to have him pick a fight with a man in three-piece suit in the elevator (What are you looking at ... I can't say .. Oh yes you can ... No I can't ... I dare you to cross this line .. There - now what ...) but the post was already turning into a novel.