Volleyball 2004 - Commentary

Discussions about writing, peer reviews, word games, and writing contests (re: "volleyball") for amateurs.

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felonius
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Post by felonius »

I'm back.

I've been quite busy lately but I've really been enjoying the recent posts - kudos to Kahrey, mr.dude, and Brad.

Aunflin - also very sorry to hear of your lost one - that's the kind of thing that makes you want to throw a computer out the window...MSW is definitely the way to go...
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Post by Darb »

/me reads Felonius' latest VB post and collapses in hysterics

Blahahahahahaha :lol:

We're not worthy :worship: :worship: :worship:
Aunflin
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Post by Aunflin »

Yeah, the thought of throwing my comp out the window (or smashing it into bits) crossed my mind for a brief flash before sanity returned :shock:
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
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Post by Darb »

OOoh, that TNG post was so funny that I decided to forfeit my genre point in order to continue it. :P
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Post by Aunflin »

Oh, lordy! :lol:

/Aunflin wonders where this one is going to go :shock:
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
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Post by Darb »

You have to be a Star Trek fan to really appreciate those 2 posts ... both of them are actually modestly on-target, continuity wise (except for the bit about Beverly & Troi being Bi), which is what makes it all the more amusing :lol:

And yes, those are genuine Klingon curse words I used ... I did NOT make them up. :twisted:

Anyway, I hope someone will take the plot in a new genre direction ... I only continued it because I was having fun :wink:
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Ghost
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Post by Ghost »

Damn, damn, damn good felonius and Brad, :worship: :worship: :worship:

What can I say, great, great, great. :clap: :clap: :clap:

Current: felonius Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (X-rated Star Trek TNG), Entertaining +1 (May I call you Elliot …), Continuity +1 (very smooth) Rule Breaker –0 (no rule breaking) TOTAL: 4

Current: Brad_H Post +1 (obvious), Originality +0 (X-rated Star Trek TNG), Entertaining +1 (like a whipped puppy …), Continuity +1 (very smooth) Rule Breaker –0 (no rule breaking) TOTAL: 3

Overall Scoring
felonius P: 15 O: 15 E: 14 C: 13 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 57
Brad_H P: 14 O: 13 E: 14 C: 13 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 52
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 8 O: 5 E: 8 C: 8 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 29
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
Ghost P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 1 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 4
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far (I classified this as an Drama: Out of Body Experience (I did not think of it as horror):

Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV)
Children: Children
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery)
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party,
Good Omens
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King
Mystery: Hardy Boys
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Ghost Story
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it ? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated)
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are solely those of Judge Roy Bean and not those of the administrator, any moderators, or of the IDBOF (but they should be). :smokin:
:smash:
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
Darb
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Post by Darb »

Ok, I polished it up and expanded it slightly ... it's better now. :thumb: :smokin:
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KiltanneN
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Post by KiltanneN »

Excellent!

I am enjoying my occasional foray into the VB - If I wasn't so damn busy I'd give it a go myself...

Ummm. I would like to comment - I wouldn't want to see the line bent much further than it has been. Our hero is probably still able to be trotted out on any regular ST show - but stretch the line a bit more and we'll become X-rated in truth. I would hate more than I can express to have to "hide" any posts in the VB - it would seem wrong! Wouldn't stop me - but it would still seem wrong!

kilt

edit: added acouple of characters that's lack reversed the entire meaning of this post!
Last edited by KiltanneN on Thu Jun 10, 2004 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Is that failure comes as a complete surprise
And is not preceded by a period of worry or depression
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Post by Darb »

I would want to see the line bent much further than it has been
Is that an invitation to move the VB boundaries from PG-13 to R, or did you type "would" when you really meant to say "wouldn't" ?

We've all been pretty scrupulous about sticking with PG-13 with the occasional borderline R.
felonius
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Post by felonius »

I saw that too - assumed it was "wouldn't" - but for a second there my mind was whirring with possibilities of a TNG/DS9/Voyager crossover:

Troi, Yar, Crusher, Dax, Kira, Torres, and of course, Seven in "THE STAR TREK FEMMES DO DALLAS" :twisted:
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Darb
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Post by Darb »

Yeah, that "Menage au Trois" (nice pun, eh ?) was fun to write. :lol:

However, not to fear Kilty ... I think our self restraint was pretty evident :thumb:
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KiltanneN
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Post by KiltanneN »

Brad_H wrote:However, not to fear Kilty ... I think our self restraint was pretty evident :thumb:
It certainly was in evidence - and thanks for picking up on my slip of the keyboard...

Kilt
The wonderful thing about not planning
Is that failure comes as a complete surprise
And is not preceded by a period of worry or depression
Kahrey
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Post by Kahrey »

i really need/want to get caught up reading the posts and want to post myself, but this week has been soooo busy i havent had the chance. but im sure they are great, i cant wait to read them. maybe ill be able to tomorrow.
"Life is trial and error. Those who succeed are those who survive their failures and keep trying." - LE Modesitt, Jr.
Darb
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Post by Darb »

I have several new genres ready, but I'd prefer not to post until someone else goes :)

If anyone's stuck, let me remind people who might otherwise be fixated on the current action that have have all sorts of other non-nojshe-imagined characters that have been introduced along the way ... the people back at the bar, that mysterious PI character, etc. Failing that, there's always Elliot's semi-random flights of drug-induced fancy.

And what's Suin Olef up to I wonder :butter:

Plenty of fodder out there people ... let's do it :thumb:
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Post by Kahrey »

very good Brad and felonius!! :clap: i liked those.

i dont think im ready to go though, i think il let someone else take this one....
"Life is trial and error. Those who succeed are those who survive their failures and keep trying." - LE Modesitt, Jr.
Darb
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Post by Darb »

I'll be passing on VB today, in order to do a series of entries for LMDV.

Somebody go.
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Ghost
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Post by Ghost »

The past week’s Weekly Sherlock award goes to Brad.

Brad 11 :clap:
felonius 4
mrdude 4
:smash:
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
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Darb
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Post by Darb »

/me bows at the stats, indicating a smackdown :deviate: :P
Aunflin
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Post by Aunflin »

All right, I threw in an insignificant snippet in an attempt to get the ball rolling again. :)
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
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Ghost
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Post by Ghost »

Aunflin got the ball in the air; someone hit it quick before it falls. :thumb:

Current: Aunflin Post +1 (obvious), Originality +0 ( :? ), Entertaining +0 (Just was not), Continuity +1 (smooth) Rule Breaker –1 (RULE 4. EFFORT: Dont trivialize - put a little effort into making your post interesting & entertaining, otherwise there's no point in playing. Be as funny, or as serious as you like. The whole point is to have a little mutual fun bouncing around a constantly evolving plot - like a crowd with a beach ball.) TOTAL: 1

Overall Scoring
felonius P: 15 O: 15 E: 14 C: 13 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 57
Brad_H P: 14 O: 13 E: 14 C: 13 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 52
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 9 O: 5 E: 9 C: 9 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 30
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
Ghost P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 1 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 4
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far:
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV)
Children: Children
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery)
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party,
Good Omens,
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King
Mystery: Hardy Boys
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Ghost Story
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it ? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated)
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are solely those of Judge Roy Bean and not those of the administrator, any moderators, or of the IDBOF (but they should be). :mrgreen:
:smash:
Edited to prevent others (Aunflin is the moderator) from kick starting the thread.
Last edited by Ghost on Mon Jun 14, 2004 5:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
Darb
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Post by Darb »

It started well, and it's intriging, but it's so short, covers so little turf, and it ends so abruptly ... I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but I think even 2 points is a bit generous for a fragment like that.
Aunflin
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Post by Aunflin »

Personally, I could really care less if I get any points or not...just trying to get things going again after almost a week of stagnation...

It's up to Judge Roy Bean...

I will accept whatever he decides... :)
"A writer's chosen task is to write well and professionally. If you can't keep doing it, then you're no longer a professional, but a gifted amateur." L. E. Modessit, jr.
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Ghost
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Post by Ghost »

Good points Brad I adjusted the scoring.

I was so hungry for another post I let my standards slip.
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animating contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you,
S Adams
Darb
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Post by Darb »

C'mon Aunf ... flesh it out and go for the full 4 points :thumb:
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