GAME: Stupid Question, Stupid Answer Thread

mrdude · Post by **mrdude** » Sun May 16, 2004 5:20 pm

why not?

why is their never anything to do on sundays but too much to do on thursdays?

Aunflin · Post by **Aunflin** » Sun May 16, 2004 10:21 pm

It is God's will.

Why is it never funny when you hit your funny bone?

mrdude · Post by **mrdude** » Mon May 17, 2004 12:11 am

Oddly enough it is simply a misconception that it would be funny. The Funny bone's actual name is the Humerus bone but the pronunciation is very similar to the word humorous.

If moths use the sun to navigate, what happens to them on cloudy days?

mrdude · Post by **mrdude** » Mon May 17, 2004 12:25 am

Gil galad wrote:
mrdude wrote: why is a raven like a writing desk?
Holy cow! i never thought i'd see this question again. It does bring up some very interesting answers though. I need to find my notes though to figure out what any of those were

here you go

This riddle is very famous, although it is the rarefied kind of fame that entails most people never having heard of it. It comes from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. Alice is at the tea party with the March Hare, the Mad Hatter, and the Dormouse, when apropos of pretty much nothing the Hatter pops the question above. Several pages of tomfoolery ensue, and then:

"Have you guessed the riddle yet?" the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.

"No, I give it up," Alice replied. "What's the answer?"

"I haven't the slightest idea," said the Hatter.

"Nor I," said the March Hare.

Alice sighed wearily. "I think you might do something better with the time," she said, "than wasting it in asking riddles that have no answers."

At this point most of us are thinking, ho-ho, that Lewis Carroll, is he hilarious or what? But inevitably you get a few losers who say, well, OK, but I still want to know why a raven is like a writing desk. One sighs wearily. Guys! It's a joke! The answer is that there isn't any answer!

Oh, they say. Pause. But why is a raven like a . . .

Lewis Carroll himself got bugged about this so much that he was moved to write the following in the preface to the 1896 edition of his book:

Enquiries have been so often addressed to me, as to whether any answer to the Hatter's Riddle can be imagined, that I may as well put on record here what seems to me to be a fairly appropriate answer, viz: `Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat; and it is never put with the wrong end in front!' This, however, is merely an afterthought; the Riddle, as originally invented, had no answer at all.

Did this discourage people? No. They figured, that dope Carroll, he's too dumb to figure out his own riddle, setting aside the halfhearted attempt just quoted. So they ventured answers of their own, some of the more notable of which are recorded in Martin Gardner's The Annotated Alice and More Annotated Alice:

* Because the notes for which they are noted are not noted for being musical notes. (Puzzle maven Sam Loyd, 1914)
* Because Poe wrote on both. (Loyd again)
* Because there is a B in both and an N in neither. (Get it? Aldous Huxley, 1928)
* Because it slopes with a flap. (Cyril Pearson, undated)

Not bad for amateurs. But the real answer, to which the careers of Poe and Carroll bear ample testimony, is that you can baffle the billions with both.

Postscript: In 1976 Carroll admirer Denis Crutch pointed out that in the 1896 preface quoted above, the author had originally written: "It is nevar put with the wrong end in front." Nevar of course is raven spelled backward. Big joke! However, said joke did not survive the ministrations of the proofreaders, who, thinking they understood the author's intentions better than the author, changed nevar to never in subsequent editions. The indignities we authors suffer! Sure, it's partly made up for by the money and groupies, but still, if in some book (e.g., this one) you come across a line that really clanks, be assured: it was funny before.

attributed to this website: http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_266.html

Post by **Kvetch** » Mon May 17, 2004 2:18 am

They stay at home like the rest of us

why is mrdude so serious on this thread ?

Post by **Darb** » Mon May 17, 2004 8:39 am

[mrdude serious mode]

Because many people have a chosen vehicle for demonstrating their non-conformity to the world. It's their way of outwardly expressing their individuality and self-identity. Some people, for example, dress like Goths, or geeky Star Trek fans, some lemmings refuse to jump off the cliff with everyone else, etc. Mrdude's personal brand of non-conformity is to post serious replies in a stupid answer thread. Hey, everyone's got their thing - don't knock it

[/mrdude serious mode]

Why does it burn when I pee ?

felonius · Post by **felonius** » Mon May 17, 2004 8:57 am

Ask Hyman Roth. He has the same problem.

Are you a whimper or bang type person?

Post by **Darb** » Mon May 17, 2004 9:09 am

That depends entirely on the context - sometimes it's the one, sometimes the other, sometimes both and sometimes neither.

What's the point of 'run flat tires' ?

felonius · Post by **felonius** » Mon May 17, 2004 9:16 am

/me blinks upon witnessing Brad's first instance of equivocation.

There's no point on them - they're flat.

Why wasn't Saruman in Return of the King?

Post by **Kvetch** » Mon May 17, 2004 9:36 am

because noone appreciates the best characers (TOM BOMBADIL RULES !!!)

why not cut Frodo? - he was rubbish

(that was my question though)

Post by **Darb** » Mon May 17, 2004 9:43 am

Feh, crossed posts

1) Because they're saving him for the sequel ... "LOTR4: The Search for Sharku".

2) They tried, but the gay and lesbian SIG said that doing so would leave sam without a romantic love interest for "all but the depressingly hetero and trite final scene". Go figure.

We've already seen clothes from the 1960's & 1970's come back into vogue ... which fashion period will climb out of it's grave next ?

felonius · Post by **felonius** » Mon May 17, 2004 9:57 am

I'm holding my breath for Roman togas...

Speaking of fashion, why can't they bring back something as cool as fedoras?

Post by **Ghost** » Mon May 17, 2004 10:06 am

Because then everyone would start talking like Humphrey Bogart.

Speaking of fashion, when traveling abroad, why does everyone wear dresses?

Post by **Darb** » Mon May 17, 2004 10:43 am

Because the rest of the world hasn't invented sewing yet ... just weaving. Think of it as the fashion equivalent of the bronze age over there

Should anti-smoking laws be ammended to also include no-farting zones ?

Aunflin · Post by **Aunflin** » Mon May 17, 2004 10:56 am

Once they get a proper fartometer working, maybe they should

Or maybe you could just light a match

Does aftermath have anything at all to do with math?

Post by **Darb** » Mon May 17, 2004 12:22 pm

Aftermath called me last week in a panic, and said she'd locked Math outta the house and was applying for a divorce. It turns out that Math had looted their joint accounts, neglected to pay their taxes, and had left poor Aftermath to deal with the fiscal aftermath of it all. What an unscrupulous dirt bag.

Say, as long as we're on the topic, is there any relationship between celebrations and bras ?

MidasKnight · Post by **MidasKnight** » Mon May 17, 2004 12:38 pm

Yes. Women's World Cup 1999.

Why don't they limit the selling of Stove Top Stuffing - Pork Flavor to the adult novelty shops?

Post by **Darb** » Mon May 17, 2004 3:28 pm

Stouffers originally sold to Adult Novelty Shops, and then decided to branch out in order to sell more product.

As long as we're sorta on the subject, do you know why donuts have holes in them ?

Aunflin · Post by **Aunflin** » Mon May 17, 2004 3:31 pm

They were trying to get into the Adult Novelty Market, too... It just never caught on.

If you "take a leak", where do you take it?

MidasKnight · Post by **MidasKnight** » Mon May 17, 2004 3:34 pm

Because doughnuts get horny too.

...and why DID God invent pubic hair?

Aunflin · Post by **Aunflin** » Mon May 17, 2004 3:39 pm

...so crabs would have a place to live, too.

I already asked my question above--since we double-posted...

Post by **Darb** » Mon May 17, 2004 3:56 pm

My leak seems to go wherever I do ... I think it's following me.

If I have 5 o'clock shadow, is that GMT or EST ?

p.s. Aunflin's idea of a lousiana "crab boil" appears to be hopping into a jaccuzzi with a hoe in a New Orleans bordello

Aunflin · Post by **Aunflin** » Mon May 17, 2004 4:09 pm

lol

I guess it depends on where you live.

Why does Aurora Borlealis sound like the name of a Drag Queen?

Post by **Darb** » Mon May 17, 2004 4:32 pm

I dont know who Ms Borlealis is, but Borealis is the Northern Lights in my book.

Say, if ugly fuzz can form in my coffee mug in a mere 24 hours, how come it took like a billion+ years for life to evolve without any competition at all ?

Aunflin · Post by **Aunflin** » Mon May 17, 2004 7:28 pm

Because there was no old, leftover coffee to grow in.

Why does the warning on a can of cooking spray say, "Do not store or discharge near heat source" when that's exactly what you're going to do? (I do it every day...

)