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This may be in the wrong forum so feel free to move it if it is.

Anyway, as a resident of the South for 5 years, I've heard many funny sayings and I thought perhaps we should have a forum to share these as well as others. Many sayings are regional by nature so there should be a lot many of us haven't heard before. They can be funny, profound, odd or even make no sense. Let's just hear them.


I'll start with a colloquialism that everyone knows. If anyone knows the origins of any of these, please feel free to enlighten the rest of us.


In the South, when someone is getting ready to do something they say "I'm fixin' to _______."

I never understood what 'fixin' had to do with 'getting ready to.'

I also laughed everytime I heard someone say someone else was "dumb as a bag of hammers."

The absoluteness of that saying is hilarious.

I've always been a great fan of the yorkshire 'weer theres muck theers brass' (I can't seem to type the phonetics of that right, but if you have heard someone talking broad you'll know (or ken...) what I mean)

US Southerners generally say "cut" the light off when they want it dark.

I always said "turn" the light off. Some of my friends from India say "open" the light. That one got me! They meant "open" as in "open the circuit," which turns it off. Clever.

those are very familiar to me....

ever heard "he/she cusses more than a sailor on the east coast."

or, "angry as a mean bull dog on a bad day."

or, "i/she/he felt as low as a bow legged centipede."

dont know of those are actually southern, but ive only heard them in the south cos i only been out of the south once. for a week.

and, i posted this inb here somewhere else, "if yeh aint gat duck tape on it, yeh aint tryin."

These are from way more south than you guys were quoting:

"Bob's Your Uncle"

"She'll be right"

"Bugger"

"I feel Knackered"

kilt

ain't seen you in a coon's age

land a goshen- now that's right out of the bible

come hell or high water

another southern (US) - ism

Head to the house (go home)

They never say 'home.' It is always 'the house.'

Here's another one (not sure of the origin though):

Red on a head like a dick on a dog.
Freckles on her face like an ass on a hog.

They used to make fun of me for saying 'you guys.' Of course, they said "y'all." I guess 'you guys' is a California thing.

A few more:

Funnier (or busier) than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.

Boy, when I get through with you there won't be enough meat on your ass to make a hungry man a sandwich.

I'd as soon take an ass-whooping as to ________ (insert task here).



Boy, I'm sweating like a whore in church.

It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.

(Referring to being mad) She's hotter than a two dollar pistol.

...bigger than Texas ...

He's as dumb as a well rope.

He's as dumb as a box of rocks.

She's as useless as tits on a boar hog.

She's as useless as shelves in a tent (my personal favorite).

Some of you need to give us the interpretations.

how about- he's blind in one eye and can't see out of the other

or- he's deaf in one ear and can't hear out of the other (or is that called selective hearing.)

i'll do that when pigs can fly and a herd of wild horses won't stop me either.

you could hit me over the head with a hammer.

if you did, then i'd be as weak as a newborn kitten.

it's hotter than a biscuit in here. and that's pretty hot.

"Can't died in the cornfield. Try-it done wonders."

oh oh oh, another Arkansas classic (actually, I think the dude was from Oklahoma). He said this and I think I laughed for 3 years.

"... and it made me so mad, I could have kissed a cow's ass."

i think now ill be laughing for three years....

that is hilarious, ive not heard that, lol!!

heard from a co-worker from missouri:
your ass is the blackest - acknowledging that i was right when we had a disagreement. what an ass being black has to do with having your facts in order, i have no idea. what's more, neither did he.

Here's one of my favorites: "Peoples is crazy." --Rita Bright

heard that one plenty of times!

Are you a chicken or a pig?

This saying is questioning your level of commitment for a project or plan. The chicken is involved in the breakfast process as it lays the egg to be consumed, but the pig is commented to breakfast as he becomes the bacon. So you ask the question to see if someone is willing to carry out the plan to the end, i.e. is he committed.

kiltannen wrote:These are from way more south than you guys were quoting:

"Bob's Your Uncle"

"She'll be right"

"Bugger"

"I feel Knackered"

kilt

Bugger is English: coming from a vile aspersion against the noble Bulgars --- ( For being Cathars )

Bob's your Uncle comes from Lord Salisbury being Prime Minister, and making his nephew Arthur Balfour Foreign Secretary or something.

And I think knackered is Yorkshire again.

Rupert

The damn "colonies" are at it again

Actually, I should have said. Salisbury, who was one of our last vaguely decent PMs, was called Robert. Cecil, pronounced sizzle for all you colonials, was his surname. And a ghastly family they were and are.




Rupert

Knackered comes from the word knacker, as in the knacker-men, who would ship away your brokendown horses and diseased animals to render down for dog food etc. - hence knackered indicates that you are too tired to keep on living / too tired/old to be of any use, and should be taken away to be rendered down.

since that was my own prose it might be a little incoherent, but I hope it gives a nice little etymology. (I can say etymology can't I?)

You just did, so obviously you can.

She could core an apple without opening her mouth.

She was on him like white on rice.

i think these are nz but i have no idea if they use them anywhere else, also, some of them are single words, so theyre not really sayings i guess, i hope thats alrite.


bloke (a guy/man)
brassed off (disappointed, annoyed)
g'day mate, which is usually used in australia but is also used by some kiwis. (means hello)
choc-a-block: (really full, almost overfilling)
crikey (australian, an exclaimation of surprise)
wanna cuppa? (do you want a cup of tea/coffee/milo)
aye?

aye: pronounced as you would the letter "a" and often used at the end of sentences when expecting a response to a statement - it is not spoken as a question. i.e. "This would be a better gift eh", instead of saying "Do you think this would be a better gift"? Using it this way has become an everyday part of our conversation. It is also often used as a substitute for "pardon"? or "what"? i.e. "eh"? - but neither "what"? nor "eh"? are really acceptable and you would probably get a lengthy lecture about polite language if you tried using it too often

want some fizzy? (/soda pop)
stop gawking (stop staring)
get off the grass (exclaimation of disbelief, kinda like, 'stop pulling my leg')
do the hokey pokey: (i think its a kind of dance or something)
i'll give you the jandal (pacific island saying, means to bash someone with a jandal/flip flop?)
im a Kiwi (new zealander)
nz (nw zealand)
kick the bucket (to die)

lets go get some l&P.

L&P (Lemon & Paeroa, ); originally lemon flavoured spring water from the town of Paeroa, but this is no longer the case.)

maori: (native new zealander)
Mum (Mom)
give me a ring (call/phone me)
rack off (go away/get lost)
she'll be right (it'll be okay, no problem)
got a plaster? (do you have a band-aid/bandage)
get stuffed (go away)
i'm stuffed (im tired/lazy)
suck the kumura (to die)
dont get in a hissy fit (dont throw a tantrum)
wrap on some sunnies (put on sunglasses)
i'll suss it out (i'll sort it out)
two sammies short of a picnic (describing some one who is,'a bit thick')
Now thats something i haven't seen for yonks! (i haven't seen it for ages/ a long time!)

Eeek. On another forum my avatar is a lad with a scythe: I never wanted it to be apposite, but:

GB alone = Great Britain common all over & British words.

biscuit (cookie) --- GB

pudding (means ANY dessert) --- GB

bloke (a guy/man) --- GB, but might have originated in Australia

brassed off (disappointed, annoyed) --- GB ditto

mate (friend/buddy) --- GB ditto, but probably an Empire thing, when people had to chum up with a friend when in foreign parts. Intensely common over last 5 years from all people. Not everyone likes this.

boxing day (the day after christmas) --- GB

boot (car trunk) --- GB

choc-a-block: (really full, almost overfilling) --- GB

crikey (australian, an exclaimation of surprise) --- GB London orig: From a euphemism for Christ ? There are so many euphemisms for blasphemy, eg: Gosh etc.

cuppa (cup of tea/coffee/milo) --- GB, but only for tea.

duvet (the big blanket that goes on your bed) --- Scandinavian I think or Austrian ?

aye --- GB fr Norse: still common in North of England; Scotland very much equal to yes; same in Ireland. Country districts ( eg: West country ) not infrequent.

fizzy (soda pop) --- GB, as fizzy-pop.

gawk(to stare at) --- GB 18th century ? From geese staring ? Still common, particularly Yorkshire ( Gawky means tall and awkward )

hokey pokey: (how can i explain this?? a type of candy i guess) --- GB not now, but something like sticky candyfloss ( repulsive stuff wound around a stick ) in 19th century

lolly (candy) --- GB as either lollypop hard round candy on stick; or lolly = frozen ice on stick ( not water-ice, though originally called that: mixture of fruit-flavoured sugar and additives )

kick the bucket (to die) --- very GB 19th century: read somewhere where it comes from (racing ?), but forgotten.

Mum: Mom --- GB ( or Mummy, for soppy kids )

motorway: freeway --- GB ( invented by Germans as Autobahn )


Try to think of it as linking people all over the world to make up for them not being peculiar to NZ


yours guiltily


Rupert

Oh, this is fun stuff!

Sometimes an old meaning is preserved in a phrase or expression. Neck was once widely used to describe a parcel of land, but that meaning has died out except in the expression "neck of the woods."

Tell once meant to count. This meaning died out but is preserved in the expression bank teller and in the term for people who count votes. When this happens, the word is called a fossil. Other examples of fossils are italicized here:

short shrift
hem and haw
rank and file
raring to go
not a whit
out of kilter
newfangled
at bay
spick-and-span
to and fro
kith and kin

Occasionally, because the sense of the word has changed, fossil expressions are misleading. Consider the oft-quoted statement "the execption proves the rule." Most people take this to mean that the exception confirms the rule, though when you ask them to explain the logic in that statement, they usually can't. How can an exception prove a rule, after all? It can't. The answer is that an earlier meaning of prove was to test (a meaning preserved in proving ground) and with that meaning the statement suddenly becomes sensible - the exception tests the rule. Similar confusion can be attached to the statement "the proof of the pudding is in the eating."