Culinary Pet Peeves

[Aunflin]

Well, I don't think he's micromanager--had too many of those to count, though he could be of a new variety I haven't run across yet...

BTW, just ate at a brand new local deli/restaurant here in St. Louis. The food was homemade and AWESOME! Everything I tried was wonderful! It's called the Pitted Olive and owned by a guy (forgot his name ATM) my friend knows. We're going there for a dinner party on this coming Thursday--we're trying to promote the place. The food is quite good....

[Darb]

Peeve: "White Tablecloth Syndrome (WTS)"

I hate it when restaurant owners catch what l like to call "White Tablecloth Syndrome" ... which is where they tighten the dress code for the waiters, add white table cloths, upgrade the dinnerware, decrease the portion sizes, increase the amount of garnishes on the plates, and lower the lighting in the establishment - but they leave the menu essentially unchanged and increase the price of all appetizers by $5 and the price of all entrees by $10.

Owners call it ambiance, and diners call it greed.

Personally, I couldn't give a rat's a** about uniforms, decor, and fancy dinnerware ... such things are of interest to people who are spoiled and/or shallow. I am interested solely in the food & drink that gets served, the person I'm dining with, and possibly chatting with the chef/host. The rest is superficial and irrelevant, IMNSHO.

One of my favorite local indian restaurants (a place I'd been going to atleast 4x per year for 10+ years) recently caught WTS - and on our way out we told the waiter (the owner wasn't around) we'd consider returning when their "experiment" ends and they resume catering to their original customers.

Another local restaurant recently switched from French (which died a slow death, despite a decent menu, due to the ongoing anti-french backlash) to basic Italian-American, and despite the low-end no-frills menu they embraced WTS (i.e., things like basic pasta entrees, and chicken parm were all like $20). They'd basically priced themselves out of the market before the paint was even dry - 90% of the menu could be had for $10 cheaper at various local pizza/pasta takeout joints, or made at home for even less in under 30 mins.

WTS is usually, but not always, the kiss of death to blue-collar restaurants. It only works if there's a concurrent increase in the quality of the cuisine that warrants it (usually in conjunction with a chef change), AND if the local clientele can accomodate the target audience envisioned by the owner.

[Aunflin]

Personally, I couldn't give a rat's a** about uniforms, decor, and fancy dinnerware ... such things are of interest to people who are spoiled and/or shallow. I am interested solely in the food & drink that gets served, the person I'm dining with, and possibly chatting with the chef/host. The rest is superficial and irrelevant, IMNSHO.

I agree.

I love cooking, I love food, and I love eating good food. I don't really care how the staff looks--unless they're really nasty/dirty/unlclean looking. It also bothers me if the staff has long fingernails and/or long hair hanging out everywhere. Rings and jewelry don't bother me--though they really shouldn't have that either.... (State came in on us last week--everyone has to be clean shaven.... Which doesn't bother me--I'm always clean shaven.)

Love my new boss (a Chef.) He's really cool. He doesn't put up with BS, is a smartass, isn't afraid to work, and has this almost supernatural ability to appear out of nowhere--you never know when he might suddenly be walking through the kitchen. He always asks if I need help--and WILL help if I do, which is rarely. The whole kitchen has changed with the new director--and I love it! My new boss is strict but fair--and I LOVE it! He's not afraid to do anything...whether dishes, cooking, passing trays, or etc.

I love it! My boss is like me. And I've heard that he speaks highly of me, though he's never said such to me personally: "[He's] the only real cook I have."

I hope he'll let me do caterings with him. He knows what he's doing, and I want to learn more.........

[Darb]

Glad to hear things have worked out so well, and that you're happy now.

Are you still thinking about doing the CIA thingee at some point ?

[Aunflin]

Yes, I still want to do the CIA thing. And I'm sure Mark (my new boss) would be a good reference for me. (I'd sure like to work with those guys at the Pitted Olive, too--they're awesome cooks/chefs!)

As for my new boss, I'm too proud to ask for help, but I almost wanna ask him to help just because he's so bored doing paperwork and wants to cook.

He has my total respect.

[Darb]

PET PEEVE: Hot Oil vs Hot Peppers (shortcut)

I *hate* chinese restaurants that get lazy when you ask for something hit and spicy. Many invariably make it the same way they always make it, then dump 'chili oil' in at the end, flip the wok a few times, and plate it. The result is food that's unnecessarily greasy, only moderately hot, and with very little decent chili flavor.

The correct way to do it is to dry-toast the dried peppers (to awaken their flavor as well as make them brittle) in a naked pan, then crumble them (or leave them whole if you like milder heat and prettier presentation) just before beginning the saute phase ... that way, the peppers are in the dish thoughout the whole process, and you get good flavor extraction as well as rip-roaring heat ... and without an exxon-valdez-like glut of oil that otherwise ruins the dish.

This problem seems pretty much limited to chinese restaurants that have szechuan cuisine ... such things seem rare in all the Thai and Southern Indian restaurants I've been too.

[violetblue]

PET PEEVE: Hot Oil vs Hot Peppers (shortcut)

I *hate* chinese restaurants that get lazy when you ask for something hit and spicy.

Sounds kind of kinky, Brad. I won't ask any questions! Those chinese restaurant workers really need to learn some flogging skills.

I actually just did a stir fry last night in which, yes, I added hot chili oil at the end to "kick it up a notch." It's just such an easy shortcut! But I will try the dried pepper idea next time.

[violetblue]

I recently decided to try a new vegetarian restaurant in town. While I am not a vegetarian, I don't eat a lot of meat and enjoy trying new vegetarian dishes.

What a disappointment! The restaurant basically tried to imitate dishes with meat by using meat substitutes in almost all their entrees. This is a definite pet peeve of mine.

First of all, I don't like meat substitutes. Seitan, gluten, tofurky, whatever. I think it's lazy vegetarianism to try to mimic dishes which would normally call for meat with meat substitutes--besides the fact that soy products, the cornerstone of most meat substitutes (like tofu) are bad for you. My idea of a good vegetarian meal for winter might be, say, butternut squash ravioli with a loaf of crusty bread and a salad. Oh, and a dry red, let's not forget. Not mock tuna salad (yuck!).

[Darb]

Agreed on all counts ... except for the bit about soy products being bad for you. I haven't heard that - aside from the fact that some people may be sensitive to certain fermented soy products, and that people with hypertension need to be careful of high-salt soy-based condiments. Other than that, most soy products are pretty healthy. It's what you do with them that makes the difference.

[Darb]

Pet Peeve: People who cant follow even the most simple directions

Example from 5 mins ago, in my company's cafeteria ...

• BRAD: I'd like the beef stew please, over rice ... easy on the rice.
  
  WORKER: {begins shovelling on the rice}
  
  BRAD: Not too much rice please.
  
  WORKER: {continues shovelling on the rice ... enough to keep an entire family of starving Ethiopians alive for a week}
  
  BRAD: Whoa, hold it ... too much rice !
  
  WORKER: {continues shovelling for a moment, before the request finally sinks in, and he begins shovelling rice back out again ... before finally adding a lone dollup of stew to top it off} Picky picky.
  
  BRAD:

And of course, when I got back to my desk, my 3rd bite was an enormous mouthful of sauce-covered gristle, the size of my thumb ... the kind of thing you'd only feed to a starving dog.

[tollbaby]

Yick. I went for Pho you want my doggie bag?

[Darb]

ANOTHER PET PEEVE:

RESTAURANTS THAT CLOSE MON/TUES: Here in the States, many small, mid-size, and even some large-scale restaurants are closed on mondays and tuesdays ... primarily because those are the slowest days of the week in the dining scene, and the people who run the establishments need (and deserve) to have a life outside of the restaurant. I eat out, on average, about 5-7 meals per week, and I get frustrated at being unable to visit my favorite establishments on those days ... esp on monday, which is the one day of the week, more than any other, that I least feel like cooking.

[Darb]

And another:

RESTAURANTS THAT DON'T TIP-SPLIT: I dislike restaurants in which the implicit understanding is that the waiters, maitre'd, water fillers, bus boys, sommellier, et cetera, all get tipped separately. I'm sorry, but unless the maitre'd is a pal of mine and/or they sacrificed their virtue (or suffered grevious bodily harm) in order to procure me a hotly contested table, they ain't gettin squat outta me. Ditto for not tipping the floor staff when I eat directly at the bar (or at the sushi bar) of a restaurant, rather than on the main floor. No service, no tip - I only tip the bar tender, or the sushi chef, in those circumstances.

I was at Nobu in NYC (at the time, it was the #1 ranked sushi bar in the USA), back in April 2000. I'd dropped in for some sushi during lunch break (from a training class), and ate at the sushi bar, rather than the main floor. It was an exquisite (and rather expensive) lunch. I paid, tipped the sushi chef generously, and left. One of the floor waiters (who'd done nothing except bring me a glass of water, and later, my check) actually followed me out into the street, and demanded 18% of my tab. I mentioned that I'd left a 25% cash tip with the sushi chef. He persisted. I turned around, walked back into the restaurant (with the irate waiter in tow), and quietly read the Maitre'd the riot act.

[tollbaby]

good lord. I'm a good tipper (ask anyone who served me in the last two weeks while Chris was visiting - I'm an EXCELLENT tipper). But agreed. If a particular person didn't provide any service to me, they're not getting a damn tip.

[Darb]

Pet Peeve: Improperly "frenched" Racks of Lamb.

I get annoying going to high end butchers, and paying $$$ for a "frenched" rack of lamb that still has way too much fat & scrap attached ... they'll cut off just enough meat to expose the tips of the ribs, and declare it frenched.

I bought three 8-rib racks this past weekend, and I had to completely re-butcher them (taking them down to just the 'eye' meat, with a thin layer of fat, and then trussing the meat to keep it plump and even, and then foil-wrapping the rib bones to prevent scorching), and I wound up with only about a 60% yeild for something that was SUPPOSED to be an already-finished grill-ready cut.

Throwing away multiple large fistfuls of trimmings, at $17/lb, really gets my goat (pardon the pun).

[Darb]

Pet Peeve: Underchopped Salad.

Personally, I dislike having to use a knife when I eat salad. When I make salad, I'm careful to make sure everything is conveniently bite-sized, to make it easy to eat, and fun. I hate it when lazy/inconsiderate chefs do things like pile unchopped & un-destemmed spinach, or bell peppers and onions cut into large rings, and expect you to do their work for them. It's also not kosher to coarsely break a head of lettuce into enormous chunks that barely fit into a salad plate. Ditto for over-large florettes of broccoli or cauliflour.

[daetara]

Pet Peeve: Underchopped Salad.

hear, hear! especially at fancy/expensive resturants, when you're wearing nice clothes.

[tollbaby]

Pet Peeve: Underchopped Salad.

[Darb]

Pet Peeve: WRETCHED OIL EXCESSES

I hate it when I go to an Italian restaurant, and some impossibly heavyhanded moron in the kitchen feels compelled to utterly and completely DROWN dishes in massive amounts of oil.

Case in point - on a whim, my Wife and I ate at a local italian restaurant this past weekend, and I ordered one of my favorite staples: linguini with white clam sauce. The dish arrived with, and this is no exaggeration, oil that was a full half-inch deep on the plate ... it was sloshing with it. With a mixture of equal parts annoyance and sick fascination, I tilted the bowl and spooned out some of the oil into a large empty ramekin (which had held tomato sauce for our calamari appetizer), and measured it out. I was only about to get out about 2/3 of the oil before I'd filled the ramekin, but even still I came up with about 5-6 fluid ounces of olive oil. A full wine glass worth ! If I could have gotten off everything on the pasta, it probably would have been a full 8 oz cup's worth.

Dont get me wrong, I adore olive oil ... but I dont want to swill a full coffee mug of it with my pasta. Ick.

Pet Peeve: INCORRECTLY CUT GARNISHES

I get getting fish, and instead of giving you lemon wedges, some goomba in the back uses a mandolin to cut a pile of lemons into a tub full of thin citrus rounds.

Hello ? Ever tried to squeeze a citrus round ? It doesnt work. That's why lemons are typically cut into crosswise wedges, rather than slices.

[daetara]

Pet Peeve: WRETCHED OIL EXCESSES

oo oo oo...or the variation that i've run into...linguine with clams SOUP!

Pet Peeve: INCORRECTLY CUT GARNISHES

yeah, i hate that on my margaritas, too...i always want more lime juice than they put in, and i can't squeeze a round either (although a round is still okay if you just want a mouthful of lime, which is sometimes nice).

[violetblue]

Speaking of salad (from the earlier post), I hate it when you go to a nicer restaurant and they give you salad from a bag. I mean, come on, I can open a bag! I want baby greens with maybe some marinated artichokes, a little veggie, and a homemade dressing--esp. if I'm paying the price. Anything that shows the salad was given a personal touch.

[Darb]

Even worse is when there's signs of bag wilt.

or the variation that i've run into...linguine with clams SOUP!

I'm not as bad with that, because I like clam broth ... as long as there's some decent bread to sop it up with (BTW: that's acceptible table manners in blue-collar environs, but it's a faux pas in formal/fine dining), and as long as it's not too thin. I like plenty of garlic, a little shallot, parsley, white wine, clam broth and a little romano. If I make it and it comes out a bit soupy (fresh clams shed a lot of broth), I'll sometimes add a dribble of liquified corn starch, just to give it a little body.

Call me a rebel, but I also prefer vermicelli, rather than linguini.

[daetara]

well, if it tasted like clam juice with garlic and shallots and whatnot, i'd probably enjoy it. water with a hint of canned clam, on the other hand, is much less appealing.

[Darb]

Yeah, that would be bad.

I live within a short walk of a small fish market (supplied by local clammers), and therefore white clam sauce, made with fresh local clams, is a semi-regular staple for me.

I like coarsely chopped shucked top necks for body & meat, and a few little necks or cockels (in the shell), for presentation.

[Aunflin]

Pet Peeve:

If a restaurant says its kitchen is open till 10:00, that means the last order can go to the kitchen at 10:00. (Brad has already brought this up.) Now that I work at a restaurant, I can't comprehend why we in the kitchen should take last orders at 9:30 rather than at ten, when the kitchen closes.... We're here to make money, aren't we? Why not take orders beyond the restaurant hours if we're busy? And why last orders thirty minutes before closing. INSANE!

I worked by myself tonight at my part-time job. Everything went smooth and well. I fed people for an hour after the kitchen closed...why not? I don't get why you wouldn't want accomidate customers or potential customers--especially on a Friday or Saturday night when we're busy as hell. (But that's the "Kid" I work with...real cocky, all talk, stole the chef job from me, don't know what he's doing, thankfully decided to quit and go back to college in a month...) And I got to show the owner what I can do tonight...I'm terrible at interviews... The owner looked rather confused tonight as I sold every plate ASAP without any complaints...the wait staff and the food and beverage manager told me I did awesome before I trudged on home--even though I blew-up two cans of sweetened condensed milk trying to make caramel--never had that happen before. It was a terrible mess to clean up...and I'm as yet baffled as to where the second can ended up...