Volleyball 2004 - Commentary

[Ghost]

That was great felonius,

… primal proclivity … his sharpshooter shaft sheathed … oh, braised broccoli …

Current: felonius Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Alliteration Ailment), Entertaining +1 (shifty shenanigans), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker + 0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
Brad_H P: 23 O: 22 E: 23 C: 21 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 88
felonius P: 22 O: 22 E: 21 C: 20 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 85
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 12 O: 5 E: 11 C: 12 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 39
Ghost P: 8 O: 8 E: 8 C: 8 RB: -0 Bonus: 2 TOTAL: 34
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far:
Action: Action, X-Men
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV),
Children: Children, Fairy Tale
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage, A Cop Story, The Mafia, The Twilight Zone
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery), Tom Sawyer
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, Good Omens, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT)
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult, Coming of Age
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King, Sci-Fi Horror
Mystery: Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Out-of-body Experience (quasi ghost story)
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio (Existentialist Parody), Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography, Experimental Story Structure, Story within a Story within…, Diary, Political Debate, Alliteration Ailment

[Ghost]

We have another tie in the weekly Volleyball Sherlock Competition:

Brad_H: 8
Ghost: 8

Felonius: 4
Aunflin: 3

Brad and Ghost each get ½ point.

[Ghost]

BONUS CHALLENGE: your next VB post may be anything you desire ... but it must include an extreme cuisine reference that you yourself must complete, in real life, sometime during this coming 3 day weekend. It must be something you've never had before - no fair repeating something you've already tried and enjoyed. This offer expires at midnight, next monday. No proof needed ... I'm willing to take your word for it, based on honorable service to date.

REWARD: either one or two bonus points, depending on the extremeness of the cuisine.

OK - I posted.

I came up with a new genre, an interesting story and a place to insert the extreme cuisine. I went to the city this weekend, ate out three times (Mexican, Chinese and American) and only found one thing new and extreme to try – White Fungus Soup. But after I ordered they came back and told me they didn’t have any.

So, no extreme cuisine – no bonus point, I did put it in the post though.

[Ghost]

Someone score my post and then I’ll score felonius’

I left the robe hanging right next to the trench coat.

[felonius]

I liked it, Ghost. Witty dialogue!

I'll have some of the White Fungus soup too, please! Fun political commentary - hmmm, "Little Bradley" sounds a little like someone I know...

Current: Ghost Post +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Little Johnny Joke), Entertaining +1 (evaluate how the indoctrination is going), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker + 0 (no rules broken), Bonus +1 (the extreme cuisine was good enough for me, man) TOTAL: 5

Overall Scoring
Brad_H P: 23 O: 22 E: 23 C: 21 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 88
felonius P: 22 O: 22 E: 21 C: 20 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 85
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 12 O: 5 E: 11 C: 12 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 39
Ghost P: 8 O: 8 E: 8 C: 8 RB: -0 Bonus: 2 TOTAL: 34 +5=39
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

[Ghost]

That was excellent, felonius.

… eyes are all strange … old boozer babbling … annoyance creasing his sharp features … L-Train clacked … Such a way with words.

Current: felonius +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Crime Fiction), Entertaining +1 (… you ever kill anybody …), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker + 0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
felonius P: 23 O: 23 E: 22 C: 21 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 89
Brad_H P: 23 O: 22 E: 23 C: 21 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 88
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 12 O: 5 E: 11 C: 12 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 39
Ghost P: 9 O: 9 E: 9 C: 9 RB: -0 Bonus: 3 TOTAL: 39
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far:
Action: Action, X-Men
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV),
Children: Children, Fairy Tale, Little Johnny Joke
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage, A Cop Story, The Mafia, The Twilight Zone
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery), Tom Sawyer
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, Good Omens, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT)
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult, Coming of Age, Crime Fiction
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King, Sci-Fi Horror
Mystery: Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Out-of-body Experience (quasi ghost story)
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio (Existentialist Parody), Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography, Experimental Story Structure, Story within a Story within…, Diary, Political Debate, Alliteration Ailment



/Kahrey and Aunflin you better get writing or I'll pass you by.

[Darb]

Awww, that bastich felon passed me again

[Darb]

Right back atcha, Felon ... I'll see your "Crime Fiction" and raise you a "Slasher Movie"

I don't think I'll be taking a train ride again anytime soon

[Darb]

Tweaked the ending a bit ... it reads a little smoother now.

[Ghost]

That was great, Brad.

… seemed to be expecting him… on-rushing metal beast… teeter on his toes … loss gleaming in Fancis' eyes.

Current: felonius +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Slasher Movie), Entertaining +1 (…good kisser too…), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker + 0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
Brad_H P: 24 O: 23 E: 24 C: 22 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 92
felonius P: 23 O: 23 E: 22 C: 21 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 89
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 12 O: 5 E: 11 C: 12 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 39
Ghost P: 9 O: 9 E: 9 C: 9 RB: -0 Bonus: 3 TOTAL: 39
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far:
Action: Action, X-Men
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV),
Children: Children, Fairy Tale, Little Johnny Joke
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage, A Cop Story, The Mafia, The Twilight Zone
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery), Tom Sawyer
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, Good Omens, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT)
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult, Coming of Age, Crime Fiction
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King, Sci-Fi Horror, Slasher Movie
Mystery: Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Out-of-body Experience (quasi ghost story)
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio (Existentialist Parody), Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography, Experimental Story Structure, Story within a Story within…, Diary, Political Debate, Alliteration Ailment



felonius, I'm leading you and Brad 5 to 4, the Sherlock point is yours for the taking.

[Aunflin]

That was great, Laurie!

[laurie]

Thanks, Aunflin! - B_H kind of dared me on Friday.

Now for the hard part - Act II....

[Aunflin]

LOL.

Well, I'm still trying to figure out how to make a nonfiction entry--since that seems to be about the only thing I read anymore...

[laurie]

Just about the only genre left, too!

[Ghost]

That was very good, laurie.

… whole friggin' train … thinks he's Sherlock … scribblin' ta beat hell … why's he smilin' like that.

Real similar to Stream-of-Consciousness for originality, but I let it go as we got some new blood.

Current: felonius +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Interior Monologue), Entertaining +1 (…scribblin' ta beat hell …), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker + 0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
Brad_H P: 24 O: 23 E: 24 C: 22 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 92
felonius P: 23 O: 23 E: 22 C: 21 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 89
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 12 O: 5 E: 11 C: 12 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 39
Ghost P: 9 O: 9 E: 9 C: 9 RB: -0 Bonus: 3 TOTAL: 39
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
Laurie P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 1 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 4
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far:
Action: Action, X-Men
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV),
Children: Children, Fairy Tale, Little Johnny Joke
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage, A Cop Story, The Mafia, The Twilight Zone
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery), Tom Sawyer
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, Good Omens, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT)
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult, Coming of Age, Crime Fiction
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King, Sci-Fi Horror, Slasher Movie
Mystery: Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Out-of-body Experience (quasi ghost story)
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio (Existentialist Parody), Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography, Experimental Story Structure, Story within a Story within…, Diary, Political Debate, Alliteration Ailment, Interior Monologue

Just about the only genre left, too!

I don't think so, I have three differnet genres-ideas floating in my head right now.

[Ghost]

Weekly Volleyball Sherlock Winner

Ghost: 5
Brad_H: 4
felonius: 4
Laurie: 4


felonius, since you scored my post and gave me the bonus point, will you post the Sherlock point. Or we can go for double or nothing this week.

[Darb]

Hey, welcome to the game, Laurie

That train sequence reminds me of one of my favorite old B&W episodes of the Twilight Zone ...

"Willoughby ... next stop, Willoughby ..."

Oh, and as for genres, we still have plenty of room to maneuver ... there's still an infinitude of movie, TV, radio, theater, and musical tributes to do, even if we are starting to run a little thin on the classic genres.

If things start getting too snug, we can always lift the 'each genre only once' restriction.

p.s. I mentioned the vollyball game, in passing, to Charlie Pellegrino this past weekend, and he said he participated in something like it once, back in the late 1980's, but that it ended abruptly when he posted a line that effectively killed the match. If I heard him right, it went something like this: "and after I died, they dipped me in chocolate and threw me to the lesbian necrophiliacs ..."

[felonius]

I just got caught up on the latest couple of posts...

Brad: Bravo, man. Beautiful expansion of so many little details...you threw in Yeats (:D), I LOVE when Scott enters the empty subway car and "bowed with a flourish to the empty newspapers and an abandoned coffee cup." - priceless!

And cutting between his notebook entries and sitting on the train was soooo good. Well done.

You too, Laurie! That was an impressive opening volley - I love that kind of rapid-fire inner voice prose, good stuff.

/writer affirmation/gushy mode off

[Darb]

Thanks. I thought I rushed things along a little too quickly in getting them to the train platform, but one they were there, I think I did Ok.

I also kinda liked "... an audience of no one... " and "The fluorescent lights overhead cast a sickly pall over the words, and flickered ... demanding an encore". I've ridden the train to & from NYC many times (sometimes very late at night), with billboards for various broadway plays everywhere - so with the obvious visual parallels between stage lighting flickering (for curtain calls), and train lights flickering, the whole broadway-themed denoumont paragraph practically wrote itself ... all it needed was a little polishing.

[felonius]

Indeed. Isn't it a great feeling when that happens? That's what it's all about.

I know exactly what you're saying about the train - being on a deserted subway car late at night as it clacks along, those flickering lights...it's such a surreal environment, urban, subterranean, postmodern - I've often thought it rather like being between worlds. It's a rich backdrop for prose.

As per request, I will award our fine Judge Roy with a Sherlock point. [/i]

[Darb]

Ya know, I have to say, that I enjoy this commentary thread just as much as the main vollyball thread itself ... it's great being able to discuss and dissect HOW we conceive, sculpt and then polish, our various offerings.

It's fun, satisfying, and educational.

---------------------
Currently listening to: "Shake your Foundations" - AC/DC

[Ghost]

OK, I posted.

What evil lurks in the heart of men? Only the Shadow knows … Hehehehehehe.

Let's start the week off with some old time radio.

[Darb]

GHOST: Well done, and amen to the golden age of radio reference !

One tiny nit - in the prior post, "Scott" was a vagabond who was leaving the current town forever, with no specific new destination in mind ... but then you had him return to a flop house, as if it were a semi-permanent residence. The flop house worked great for adding ambience to the shadow theme, but implying that it was a previously haunt of his was a minor continuity glitch that could have been polished a bit.

Other than that one tiny detail, great job !

FELON: That was awesome ... great change of perspective, smooth segue, well written with great cadence to the stream-of-madness blathering, and all the small connective details polished to a fine luster.

You're really great with dialogue.

I'll have to try to cook up a post of my own sometime later today.

----------------------------
p.s. The overall flavor of that post, especially when hearing "another treatment" kept reminding me of a Star Trek: TNG episode (I forget the exact title) in which Riker's stuck in an alien sanitarium. Also, all those "Dr. Scott" references kept reminding me of Rocky Horror

[Ghost]

That was fantastic, felonius.

… Your scintillating personality … Another round, another round, toss me up and throw me down … I can’t be vocal the way you hopal if ya shoot me full of dopal… if you follow the paper trail.

Current: felonius +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (Recorded Transcript Psychiatric Session), Entertaining +1 (… clickity clack and pass the smack …), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker + 0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 TOTAL: 4

Overall Scoring
felonius P: 24 O: 24 E: 23 C: 22 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 93
Brad_H P: 24 O: 23 E: 24 C: 22 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 92
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Aunflin P: 12 O: 5 E: 11 C: 12 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 39
Ghost P: 9 O: 9 E: 9 C: 9 RB: -0 Bonus: 3 TOTAL: 39
Mrdude P: 5 O: 2 E: 5 C: 5 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 17
Laurie P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 1 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 4
friendforlife P: 1 O: 1 E: 1 C: 0 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 3

Genres used so far:
Action: Action, X-Men
Animation: Japanese Anime, Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic the Gathering
Comedy: Comedy, Slapstick/Odd Couple, Absurdity, Whose Line is it? (see TV),
Children: Children, Fairy Tale, Little Johnny Joke
Drama: Drama, Out of Body Experience, International Espionage, A Cop Story, The Mafia, The Twilight Zone
Impressions (Famous Authors): Steven King (see Horror)
Impressions (Literature): Watership Down, Hardy Boys (see Mystery), Tom Sawyer
Impressions (Movies): 1950’s B-Movie Monster Flick, Beach Party, Good Omens, "Men in Black" (MIB), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle (TMNT)
Fantasy: Fantasy, Modern,
Fiction: Modern Day, Urban Contemporary, Young adult, Coming of Age, Crime Fiction
Horror: Horror, Gothic, Steven King, Sci-Fi Horror, Slasher Movie
Mystery: Hardy Boys, Sherlock Holmes
Poetry: an Epic Poem, AD&D Filk, Haiku Duel, Sonnet, Prophecy
Romance: Romance, Vomit-Inducing, Cheesy, Out-of-body Experience (quasi ghost story)
Sci-fi: Sort Of, Alien Encounter, Biotech Thriller, Drama, AI Apologue
Spy: Anachronistic Private Eye, Spy (Secret life of Robert Mitty),
TV: Twin Peaks, Cooking Show, Soap Opera "As the IBDoF Turns", Whose line is it? (Super Heroes), Star Trek TNG (X rated), Inside the Actor’s Studio (Existentialist Parody), Barbara Walter Special
Other: Stream-of-Consciousness, Screen Play Script, Flashbacks, Epistolary, Call-in Radio Show, Autobiography, Experimental Story Structure, Story within a Story within…, Diary, Political Debate, Alliteration Ailment, Interior Monologue, Psychiatric Session

Someone needs to score my last post.

One tiny nit - in the prior post, "Scott" was a vagabond who was leaving the current town forever, with no specific new destination in mind ... but then you had him return to a flop house, as if it were a semi-permanent residence ...

/me thought Scott was going home to pack

[felonius]

Fine job, Judge. It's great to have you as a regular participant. I love some of that classic radio stuff, too.

I liked the "Chicago-Sun-Times covered passed-out bum", and "A flickering, pathetic bulb" in particular.

Current: Ghost +1 (obvious), Originality +1 (classic radio), Entertaining +1 (the choice spot on the fence), Continuity +1 (smooth), Rule Breaker + 0 (no rules broken), Bonus +0 TOTAL: 4


Overall Scoring
felonius P: 24 O: 24 E: 23 C: 22 RB: -0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 93
Brad_H P: 24 O: 23 E: 24 C: 22 RB: -2 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 92
Kahrey P: 12 O: 6 E: 12 C: 11 RB:-0 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 41
Ghost P: 9 O: 9 E: 9 C: 9 RB: -0 Bonus: 3 TOTAL: 39 + 4 = 43
Aunflin P: 12 O: 5 E: 11 C: 12 B: -1 Bonus: 0 TOTAL: 39

Watch out, Aunflin! P.S - I haven't said anything about how well you switched gears with your first Mary Rose post...

kept reminding me of a Star Trek: TNG episode (I forget the exact title) in which Riker's stuck in an alien sanitarium

Geez. It's hard to plagiarize around here! Eerily enough, that old episode DID go through my head - but actually it was more a book I read in my teens called "I Am The Cheese" by Rober Cormier - it's a story of a boy who is placed in a witness protection program because his father has testified against a criminal - the father is killed, and in shock, the boy completely loses his memory and slowly has it reconstructed by a shrink in a series of interviews. It was one of my first psych-dramas, I think....

It's funny how most of the books I read from about the age 12-20 REALLY stick out - I usually don't remember half as much detail from stuff I read these days, even if it's good sh*t - the "time of impressionable clay" I guess...