The Evil Overlord / Evil Emperess Thread

[Darb]

We simply MUST compare recipes for goulash.

- Evil Overlord

[ChoChiyo]

Heh heh.

All this talk about goulash made me hungry for it. Had to make it for supper tonight. The regular version. Not the evil Empress version.


I was saddened to discover, though that my entire bulb of garlic had gone south. Sigh.

So, I spruced it up by throwing in half a jar of salsa. It turned out to b e a successful experiment. Quite tasty.

[Darb]

Classic Goulash doesn't really require much garlic - or even much tomato for that matter.

[ChoChiyo]

Blasphemy. Minnesota goulash is primarily tomato and garlic.

[Darb]

Mn Goulash is not the same style, apparently as Classic Hungarian Goulash. That's all I was saying ... no more, no less.

Please keep that hand away from the auger trap door.

[ChoChiyo]

Fear not, the auger is not the punishment for blasphemy.

As long as I find you amusing, you continue to draw breath.



So, what is classic Hungarian goulash composed of?

(I must post my evil empress recipe soon.)

[Darb]

Here's an Austrian Recipe (for Hungarian, just add more liquid to loosen it)

(as needed) Pork Fat, rendered
3 lbs Onions, chopped fine
½ tbs Garlic, pureed
3 lbs Orphaned Children, 1.5" cubes (you may use beef chuck/shoulder, if you lack children)
2 tbs Paprika, sweet or hot, ground
(to cover) Children (or Beef) Stock
1.5 tsp Caraway Seeds, whole
1 tsp Marjoram
1 tsp Black Pepper, ground
(to taste) Salt
½ cup Tomato Concasse

1) ONIONS: Saute in fat over medium heat until medium brown (15 mins). Add a little garlic, and stir until aromatic.
2) MEAT: Add cubed children's meat, and saute until lightly colored (no longer red outside), but not browned. Add paprika, and stir until well mixed and aromatic.
3) ASSEMBLE: Add all remaining ingredients, except the tomatoes, bring to a boil, and then reduce heat and simmer uncovered, for 1.5 - 2 hours, or until meat is fully tender. This is simmered uncovered in order to encourage reduction.
4) FINISH: Add tomatoes during final 10 minutes, and adjust salt & seasonings to taste. The finished stew should be rather thick and substantial.

Very tasty.

[Hunter B]

Yum, looks good, I'll have to try it sometime.

[laurie]

Yum, looks good, I'll have to try it sometime.

With beef ...... or children?

Brad: Where's the PASTA? My mom's goulash always had pasta, either elbows or shells. No children, though. But I'm sure she considered it once or twice.

[Hunter B]

I'd take whatever was served, or cheaper.

[Darb]

Laurie: You can serve it over whatever starch you prefer ...

* Egg Noodles
* Garlic Toast
* Potatoes (whatever form stokes your fancy)
* Rice

The starch is usually prepared separately from the goulash.

[Darb]

Allow me to introduce one of my favorite websites: How To Destroy The Earth

My evil minions funded all the research that went into it, and I am now pleased to announce a $1 billion dollar bountry on anyone who is able to destroy the planet.

My escape rocket is already fueled and on standby, complete with a harem of genetically superior and highly-fertile super-women (all of them with at least 3 advanced doctoral degrees, and strictly natural boobs ... no bimbos or silicone are allowed on my ship), plus a complete download of all the world's libraries, digital replicas of all artistic treasures, and the genetic codes for all forms of life ... plus a few cases of champagne, Jolt Cola, and, uh ... several crates of Hostess Ding Dongs, and some peanut butter.

Anyone who wants to join the crew of my escape vessel must submit to genetic testing, pay a 1x fee of everything they own, and also submit to wearing an obedience collar that decapitates the wearer at the first sign of disloyalty.

Who's in ?

- Ye Evil Overlord

[Darb]

Incidentally, I think option #3 grossly overstates the amount of anti-matter required to destroy the Earth. The amount given is what's required to completely blast the planet into dust and debris equal to, or smaller than, William Shatner's kidney stone. A far lesser amount is sufficient, if you don't mind larger debris.

[violetblue]

Brad, there's a fatal flaw in your plan to be The Evil Overlord. If you don't do everything, and I mean everything, in the list you originally posted, you are automatically disqualified to BE an Evil Overlord. I mean, I flunked out of Evil Empress school the first week and even I knew that. (SEE: Austin Powers). For example, it is absolutely imperative The Evil Overlord have a long-winded discussion in excrutiating detail with the soon-to-be-dispatched-but-not really-because-the-long-winded-discussion-gives-him-time-escape hero. I mean, it's like a law of the universe of something.

Oh, and I, still retaining some of my dramatic flair from my unsuccessful Evil Empress training, choose to destroy the Earth with the black hole, #4. It's extremely dramatic and gives the Earthlings a long time to ponder their doom. See, I actually would have made a good Evil Empress, damn their hides, because that looonngg journey to get into the black hole's gravity would have given the puny Earthlings plenty of time to dispatch me.

[JKCade]

Actually, the Evil Overlord list is one of the most potentially useful lists I've seen lately. Pity the US Government doesn't add it to the "Hail to the Chief" reading list...

James